TOASTS

Picked up TOASTS FOR EVERY OCCASION at the local library. As usual my “smart-ass” gene kicked in.  Here’s a few:

  • “It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu toast.”  Mark Twain
  • May you two grow old on one pillow.
  • May you live a hundred years with one extra year to repent.
  • Here’s to a friend who knows you well and likes you just the same.
  • When I read about the evils of drinking,  I gave up reading.
  • What would you like to drink too?  To about three in the morning.
  • In heaven there is no beer so we better drink it here.
  • Here’s to the good time I must have had.
  • “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker”  Ogden Nash.
  • To man.  Give him an inch and he thinks he is a ruler.
  • Here’s to our  coach –a man who will lay down our lives for his school.
  • Here’s to the honest politician.  Who when bought stays bought.
  • To the big-bellied bottle.

LENOX RAWLINGS, INDUCTION ACCEPTANCE INTO NC SPORTS HALL OF FAME

Below is the text of the induction comments by Lenox Rawlings, upon his entrance as a member of THE NORTH CAROLINA SPORTS HALL OF FAME.
Lenox is a retired writer. This becomes obvious. What was equally impressive was the way he presented his insights.
Lenox is a “homey” from Wilson,NC. A lot people were proud of Lenox, myself certainly included. But none more than BROTHER RUSSELL

LENOX RAWLINGS
NC SPORTS HALL OF FAME
MAY 15, 2015

When I was a boy growing up in Wilson, my grandfather would pick me up on Sundays around lunchtime and drive downtown to the Cherry Hotel newsstand across the street from the train station. He would buy a New York newspaper, and then we’d ride over to Fleming Stadium and enjoy the lazy hour or so before a Carolina League baseball game. I’d lay across the back seat in his Buick Special and get lost in the sports pages of the Herald-Tribune or the Times. We’d ask each other questions and exchange opinions – none of which I remember specifically. But I do remember feeling completely at peace.

It’s impossible to say when my love of sports and my love of language met at the crossroads, but one thing led to another, and now that I’m my grandfather’s age, I’m somewhat astonished to find myself standing here tonight accepting this great honor. There are lots of people to thank, beginning with my family, who taught me the difference between right and wrong and encouraged me to be myself and to do whatever I wanted to do in life.

My parents read at the beginning and end of every day and took us to the library where my mother later worked. My father, Lenox Jr., was a masterful storyteller with a dancer’s fine sense of timing, and he could leave a room roaring with laughter. My mother, Gloria, had a dry wit and precise powers of observation and considerable insight into human character. When I was about 11, she handed me her new copy of “To Kill a Mockingbird” and said, maybe for the only time, “I think you should read this.” She was right, of course. My brothers John and Russell and my sister Ann supported whatever I did and read my columns even if they had little interest in the subject. My wife Janice was a bit more discriminating. She preferred the good ones or the unusual ones, like that one about the alleged intelligence of the elusive largemouth bass. Janice reinforced the importance of intellectual honesty in everyone around her. She carried on cheerfully whenever I took off across the country to cover another story, and she traveled with me far and wide, especially after Jennifer and Barak grew up.

All of them sacrificed something for my freedom of movement.

So did my editors and publishers at the Winston-Salem Journal and other newspapers. They gave me freedom of expression. They defended my freedom of speech whenever they had to, which required more spine than you find in fair-weather guardians of the First Amendment. Fortunately, most of my interview subjects were civilized and cooperative. Many of the people I’ve written about and many of the writers I’ve worked beside are loyal friends. I’ve been lucky that way – in so many ways, really.

From elementary school through college, certain teachers recognized my affinity for descriptive writing and reacted positively. This happens every day in every school around the state, so it galls me when I hear politicians lump all teachers together and criticize them for failing to fix every breakdown in our society.

I’ll admit to an inherent bias. My other grandfather was a high school teacher and football coach before he became the town manager of Wendell. And, for half a century, I have watched teachers and coaches help young folks change their lives for the better. I’ve seen the modest home where my high school teammate Carlester Crumpler lived, raised by his loving grandmother. I’ve seen the neighborhood where Rodney Rogers grew up. I’ve seen the backyard goal where Kay Yow and her sisters and brother learned to shoot, long before women had a tangible future in basketball.

The beauty of sports – the democratic essence of sports, really – is that everyone stands on his or her own merits. Success depends on talent and work and persistence and passion, not privilege. These are basic values that endure long after the cheering fades. I’m more impressed with Carlester as an adviser to college students than Carlester the teenage legend. I’m more impressed with how Rodney has handled personal tragedy than how he handled basketball glory. I’m more impressed with Kay’s legacy as a cancer pioneer than her record as a pioneering coach.

They represent the best among us, but they aren’t alone. This room is full of people whose formal educations began in North Carolina’s public schools, people who developed a love for fair competition and helping teammates reach their potential, people who can look back through the clutter and clatter of modern times and recognize the wisdom of these simple ideas. When I was young, North Carolina was a leader in public education, but we’ve slipped. We should vastly improve the public schools for a future beyond our time – not because it’s the liberal or conservative thing to do, or the black or white thing to do, but because it’s the right thing to do. And because out there tonight in North Carolina, other kids are sitting in cars reading their electronic devices – maybe even reading the New York papers – and wondering how their stories will turn out. They deserve a fair chance, too.

MY DANNY TALBOTT STORY

Danny Talbott lost his war with cancer. Many thought he’d win. He won every thing else. Danny was a baptist preacher’s kid. In the 1960’s in North Carolina he was legendary. His pre-integration time called for every able bodied, red blooded male to play football. Most added basketball and baseball, as did Danny. Tennis and golf were for sissies. No one had heard of soccer. Maybe Pele. No girls allowed.
Coach Henry Trevathan coached Danny in Rocky Mount, NC. He said Danny was like another coach on the field. And not just in football. Rocky Mount won state titles in football, then basketball, then baseball, then football again the next year.
I was a “Peacock” in 1963/64. Danny’s freshman year at UNC-Chapel Hill. Peacocks were so called as our graduate school advisor was the beloved Dr. Bill Peacock. There were thirty college grads who taught the UNC freshman classes. I was teaching a basketball class on the Woollen Gym floor when Jack Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas.
Having lived in Wilson,NC, 18 miles from Talbott and Rocky Mt., I knew of his career. And told my fellow Peacocks who were mostly unaware of his feats. Freshman were ineligible then, and my colleagues hardly believed my hype. As basketball arrived Danny changed uniforms like a superhero. Shoulder pads for sneakers even after basketball and the remarkable Bobby Lewis show had started. All my buddies were there to watch Lewis. When they inserted Danny into the lineup, I loudly alerted them to his entry. Sure enough he was shortly on the foul line with two free throws. Nothing but foul lane, 1 and 2. howls and chagrin. Exit Danny until the game’s end, when fouled out Tar Heels dictated his reentry.
Sure enough, with one point down and seconds on the clock, there is Talbott on the line, with game on the line. Swish goes #1, swish #2, Game Talbott.
Come spring time there he is on the diamond, first year of an outstanding college baseball career. He later told me, “…I probably should have pursued pro baseball.”
Danny was easy to like. Big smile, rosy/rusty cheeks that glowed. Made you feel great. Bobby Dunn and I are friends and he and Danny were very close. When Danny went into sales after pro football, Bobby said he missed competition and was considering tennis. Send him over, I suggested.
Low and behold here he came to our college courts. Coat and tie abandoned for shorts and racket, on the run.
Danny was ambidextrous. He was hitting groundstrokes left handed forehand and backhand. His beginning shots looked good to me. “Why are you so discouraged?” I asked him.
“Watch this serve” he whimpered. He was correct. I never thought I’d see Danny Talbott look awkward at anything, but this was pretty awful to watch. He tried a couple of more serves. Then the duh? moment. Left-handed serve?
“Danny, aren’t you the quarterback that holds the NCAA record for 28 out o32 pass completions in the EAST/WEST All-Star game?” A puzzled “yes”. Did you throw them left handed ? Well, no of course.
Below is the quickest, most productive lesson I taught in my career:
1. The serve is a throw. Put the racket in your right hand. Turn your grip a little this way (“first knuckle, first bevel”). Now serve it like a throw.
2. Your wrist action at hit moment is much like a fast ball or slider is thrown.

I’m not sure if it was the first serve he tried, but I know it was before the fourth, that repeated ace like rockets zoomed over the net. I know he wanted to stop and thank me but he was having too much fun, I was too. So, I’d toss him a ball and a big “thump” would echo. I only asked about the grip, as that action is hard to see? “Yeah, fastball, slider, I got it!”
He would show up with questions and conversations. Eventually he played right handed while serving, left-handed on both ground strokes. On overheads he hit ones on the right, right-handed. The ones on the left, left handed.
It wasn’t long before I was getting reports that he was right in the middle of NC senior tennis tournaments. And, later, he did a similar thing with golf, becoming an accomplished player there too.
The last time I saw him was a year ago in Wilson’s DICK’S HOT DOG STAND. He was with a man I didn’t know, but later Danny said was his “cancer doctor”. “We go out to eat once a month”.
Rocky Mount named their hospital’s new cancer center after Danny Talbott.

Danny was so gracious with me. He always said “…that’s my tennis coach, he made my game.” But I always knew the “Big Coach” made Danny. He made a masterpiece.
PS–you guys who play sports up there. He’s coming. But you better be ready. He’s competitive.

ECHOES FROM THE VAN

Maybe the saddest conversation occurred late one night after a match. Driving silently the boys talked about the spring break they’d just returned from.
Another kid stated, “My mom drinks gin all day. She’s a drunk.”
“Hmmm. I came home four nights last week and passed by my Dad, drunk in a chair. He never recognized me.”
Silence. Then from the back Rocky Peed spoke: “You guys don’t know any- thing. Last year I saved $50, all I had, and bought myself a new racket for the high school championships. I got dressed to leave and couldn’t find my racket. My father had sold it for $5 to buy a pint of whiskey.”
That one touched me.
Rocky had been a “need” case. I first heard about him when some one said he was going to attend Atlantic Christian.
I knew he was a pretty good player but he had no phone. He lived with his grandmother. She was his only family, having kicked Rocky’s father out.
Not only could I not call him, when I went to the tournaments Rocky was in, he ducked me.
Finally I cornered him in front of a small group of junior players. I introduced myself and commented that I’d heard he was interested in our school.
Rocky was 6’3”, longhaired, and really nice looking young man. He blushed and asked “Could I speak to you over there Coach?”
In private, he told me he knew who I was. Sam Modlin had told him all about our school. It sounds great.
“But Coach, I can’t go to college. I don’t have any money. All the kids I play with talk about their college plans all the time. I just said I was going to Atlantic Christian to save face. I’m sorry. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Rocky, you can come to AC on the B.E.O.G. (Federal aid for needy kids.) If you want to come, I’ll get you in. Don’t worry about the money. Rocky, a 1975 graduate, is now a grandfather, and highly successful insurance agent.
He also won a District Singles title. I bought his racket for him.

NO EXCUSES

I saw that happen in Kansas City once. A boy named Ben Taylor had lost a District title on a 9th point (old tie breaker) of the deciding set. Playing an hour from his campus, his coach said didn’t speak all the way back. His opponent’s own fans had seen the call and booed their classmate openly.
His coach dropped Ben off and confirmed: “Ben, you know your shot was good.”
Ben said, “I should have beaten him anyway.”
With a draw of 256 men in the NAIA Nationals, fate pitted Ben against the same guy.
Taylor by 6-2, 6-1.
Believe me.

Quotes, Comments, Observations

Quotes, Comments, Observations
W.C Fields, an avowed atheist, was asked why, on his deathbed, he was reading the Bible. “I’m looking for loopholes.”
“The size of your funeral is often dictated by the weather.” “He’s a lost ball in high weeds.”
To Satchel Page: “Why do you call it your ‘B’ ball?” Satchel: “Because it always be where I want it to be.”
“It’s better to have love and lust, then to let your apparatus rust.” Kurl Vonnegut E.L. Doctorow called it “…hierarchal warrior nonsense” in The March.
“Looked like a goat rodeo.”
Husband: “Would you have believed, in your wildest dreams, we’d be here?” Wife: “You weren’t in my wildest dreams.”
Advice from the track coach: “Stay left and get back as quick as you can.” “The key to being a good rain dancer is timing.” Willie Nelson
”Once the shit is out of the bull….” Willie again.
“Noah built the ark before the flood.” Spy Games, Robert Redford. Inquisitive child: “ Was Jesus Jewish?”
Baptist teacher: “Only on his mother’s side.”
“If I don’t see you in the future, I’ll see you in the pasture.” T. Bone Burnett
A fan shot a soccer referee twice, once for each goal.
“I don’t have a drinking problem. I prefer to call it a drinking opportunity.” Ed Perkins
“The higher up the ladder you climb, the brighter your ass shines.”
On Age:
“When the Dead Sea was just sick.”
“Since Christ was a corporal.” Richard Russo
On Procrastination:
“The wind is blowing but the trees ain’t moving.”
Coach Billy Tubb’s wife: “You love basketball more than me.” Billy: “I love you more than track!”
A trainer, on his girls team’s physical condition: “We’ve got tons of girls, just not many of them.
“Genital Equity will never work.” Tony Tilley
“Life’s a shit sandwich, and you have to take a bite everyday.” Unnamed coaching friend
A magazine article in Sports Illustrated, “’Big Daddy’ Libscomb said he’d screwed so many hotel maids, he had an erection every time he heard a vacuum cleaner.”
On Golf:
“If we hadn’t had four players they’d have thought we were the ‘Three Stooges’.”
Bipli: “Ball in pocket, lost interest.” Fido: “Frig it, drive on.”
Loft: “Lack of friggin’ talent.”
Dave Feherty, coming in late from golf: “Is my dinner still warm?” Wife: “Should be, it’s in the dog.”
Some “Hall of Fame” Moments:
One of our neighborhood children, Grant Miles, was left as he ran to get on the bus. It was his first day of school. Grant cut across the woods and “mooned” the bus as it rode by. He reported to the principal’s office before he went to school.
One of Margaret’s sister’s kids, Ben Osier, told the nun barking at school bus mates to “fu__ off Old Lady.” The buzz oddly quiet just as Ben spoke.
A young man in my home town asked an older man about a problem. “My girl’s pregnant and I don’t have any insurance.”
Tell me the details the old man suggested.
Young man: “Well it happened two months ago in the back seat of my car.” Old man: “You got car insurance?”
Young man: “Well, yes.”
Old man: “Hell, you’re covered.”
True story. The young man took his hospital delivery bills to his car insurance
office. Both the old man and the Agency secretary are still laughing.
One of my players had an expensive pet cockatoo. It got loose. The bird catcher caught and delivered a cockatoo to the player’s home. $200.00 bill.
The player came home and reported it was the wrong bird.
The second time they got the right bird. $200.00 more.
While the family celebrated in the living room, a niece of age six asked to hold
the precious bird.
The child lost concentration and the bird got away. Straight up into the ceiling
fan, where a blade broke the bird’s neck. Pet cemetery?
George Bancroft attempted 192 hours at Atlantic Christian College, a record by far (124 hours are required for graduation). George began a painting business while still a student. About to complete the first coat of paint on his first job, George was approached by a man who’d come home from work. The man asked “What are you doing painting my house?” Double-check those addresses, Picasso.
One AC student opened his apartment door and found everything gone including his newly wed wife.
The girl in the next apartment volunteered, “She’s gone.” “Did you talk to her?” the groom asked.
“Yes.”
“What did she say?”
“Well, she asked me, ‘How many times have you been to bed with my hus- band?’ I said just once, and she packed up.”
At age 66:
“..it is not he or she, or them or it that you belong to It’s all right, Ma (Bob Dylan)
I’ve likened life to a chocolate milk shake. We all wind up sucking on the straw at the end. Here are a few suggestions before it gets too late.
1. I “coached” all students to: Advance your family one-generation. You can’t buy your way out of bad kids. No matter how much money you have or make, sorry kids can dissipate it all.
2. Do good deeds with out anyone knowing.

Most women are inherently better than most men. Learn the names of important people’s spouses, particularly wives.
Dr. Leroy Walker spoke at Elon. Two pieces of his advice:
“God gave you two ends. Whether you are to be successful or not depends on which one you use.”
Live everyday like it is your last. One day you’ll be right.
When Dan (my son) and I began to disagree during tennis discus- sions, I stopped bringing up the topic. I wrote letters of advice, telling him he could take it or leave it. He read the letters. Once I realized this worked, I wrote on other subjects.See Parham Letter page 120) Recently I wrote my memories of them. I enjoyed writing those.
Two things I feel good about as a parent:
a. I read to them a lot. And they love to read.
b. I tossed them a thousand balls. Start with balloons. Then a little
more active ball. On and on. Some experts say real young kids can’t “track the ball” but they’re wrong. They can track a balloon early.P.S. Youpick them up. Tee always helped.
7. Join a library. Check out a lot of books. Have them around the house.
8. Once a month our family rotated one seat from their traditional din- ning room seat. During that meal you assumed the persona of the normal occupant. Lots of revealing moments.
9. If I have a grandchild who is gay, wouldn’t I want that child to have equal rights? Sure. Any other position is indefensible. Why are we arguing about this in these troubled times?
10. Keep a “book list” of what you’ve read. Ask others who read, “What’s good?”
Pick up the balls. You’ll know when its time to require them to help you.

COACH OF THE YEAR

When they presented me with the 1990 National “Coach of the Year” for NAIA Tennis, I tried to give it to Coach Fred Kniffen of the University of Texas at Tyler. Fred had a firm rule in 1990 that no one rode in the van without their seat belts. No exceptions. En route from Tyler to Kansas City one of two team vans ran off a 35-foot bank. All belted, there was only one minor injury.

GET THE GAME ON

• HBO recently ran an excellent documentary on Sports in America. There were lots of celebrities, sports heroes, historical events and such. Jesse Owens and Hitler and the 1938 Olympics, that sort of thing. I watched it faithfully remembering the Yankees vs Dodgers and others “classics”. I was puzzled for a while during one interview. Who is this rather nondescript, older guy? I listened quizzically as he dryly unfolded the tale. Much like me, the man as a youngster was from an extremely religious family. Stern father, to the point that none of the four brothers even voiced complaint when multiple “dress up” weekly trips to church were required. Not only did the family know discipline, the minister admonished the entire congregation about the real possibility of hell’s fire for eternity. Later I appreciated the artistic touch of the film makers, who super- imposed Elmer Gantry like evangelists, screaming the Devil’s powers, with flames leaping all around.
There was common ground between Father and sons: BASEBALL. Not only that, they lived in the California home town of one Eddie Matthews, he of future Hall of Fame credentials. Eddie was currently joining teammate Hank Aaron in knocking shit out of baseballs for the then Milwaukee Braves.
It was 1957. And there was a new “player”: TELEVISION! Not only television, but baseball on the television. Imagine the joy the boys felt when Dad brought home a new set! Not only that, the Braves had made the World Series. Eddie Matthews in their living room.
Alas, all was not joy. As fate would have it and because of the West Coast Time Zone, the pivotal game was to be played on Sunday, during church time.
Gloom itself. Still there was nothing said on Sunday morning. All six piled in the car, not a peep the entire trip to the church. They knew better. And again, a thunderbolt would surely accompany some of the unspoken wishes had they been even meekly uttered.
Sunday school was hard to bear. GAME TIME WAS NOT FAR OFF. And then something very unusual happened. As the boys, gathered to enter their usual pews, the parents met them at the entrance. An odd kind of “ushering” today, as Mom and Dad nestled the startled brood toward the family car.
The only emotion the narrator had expressed occurred here. A slight smile as he claimed to be the first to realize: We are going home to watch Eddie Matthews in the World Series!
Even then there was dead silence. Would a train smash their family? A fire due to “faulty wiring” usurps local family”? A dichotomy of emotions? You bet. Even as a great game unfolded, random unspoken concerns radiated like static within the home.
But the drama of the game finally imposed itself over the fears. You couldn’t make it any better or tense than this. Bottom of the ninth, one on, Braves are down one. Hometown and home family hero, Eddie Matthews at bat.
At this point the stoic narrator seemingly became even blander. As he concluded the final touches to this childhood highlight he spoke two brief sentences;
“‘Eddie Matthews hit a home run.”
“We never went to Church again.”

Ivory League

HUMOR
• One local grandparent was gaining rambunctious grandchildren at a rapid pace. He countered the consternation by buying a dog. The largest, laziest big basset hound he could find. Trained
the ally to locate between Grandpa’s recliner and the TV set. Named the dog SPEED BUMP. • On a lark a recent graduate with a meager 2.6 grade point average applied to the Harvard
MBA program. He, for some reason, was granted an interview. The committee member who chaired the interview opened the process by asking: Do you have any idea why we granted you this interview? NO, the obvious answer. “Well, frankly, the old professor explained, “…we’ve never heard of Pfeiffer College in Misenheimer, North Carolina!” The applicant swore his answer got him in. He countered, “…that’s all right, Sir. There are a lot of people at Pfeiffer that ain’t ever heard of Harvard.

UCLA–The University of Campbell between Lillington and Angier. The Harvard of Harnett (county). ACC- “Another chance at college, or LSU (Lee Street University).

“SHE BLONDEENED HER HAIR”

•Malavai Washington was inducted in the college tennis hall of fame. Long time curator, Dan McGILL ramrodded the press introductions and explained each inductee would have his picture displayed. Then the
grand old patriarch of college tennis couldn’t help jokingly add, “…of
course, Malavai already has his picture in here.” Oh no, was all Malavai could say. Reason: When Malavai played Richard Krajicek in the Wimbledon singles final there was the formal introduction ceremony at the match’s beginning. Full house and all the proper British royalty.
A beautiful, quite blonde young woman “streaked” the group in only a sheer top. As she passed the ensemble, Malavai of course included, she lifted her top exposing her total front to the group, and her total rear to the photographer. Coach McGill couldn’t resist. He asked Malavai why, when all of the other group’s eyes focused on the streaker’s upper half, Malavai was clearly focused lower. “… I was trying to make sure she was a TRUE BLOND.”