World’s Top Producer of Condoms Raises Prices as Iran War Rattles Supply Chain
( From today’s New York Times ).
THINGS ARE GETTING SERIOUS !
Category: HUMOR/ ODDS AND ENDS
HOMER OF THE SEA
Homer
Homer Hewitt, late and legendary resident of our community, is remembered fondly and often with amusement.
A retired Philadelphia lawyer, he was “of the sea”. And perhaps best known locally for his ocean swims, he amazed us all at the tough times and weathers he dipped in to.
He lived into his 90’s- mischievous till the end.
Wife Gwen recently recalled introducing her newly betrothed fiance to her Family.
“Homer was about 60. I was to pick him up at the airport but didn’t see him. As he got closer
It dawned on me that the guy in the Grateful Dead tee shirt was Homer. Bandana, earrings and all. My brother’s initial reaction was pure shock, but my Parents saw Homer’s humor immediately.”
FOXHOLES
“There are no Atheists in foxholes.”
(From Jack Webster, Grand Poobah of Madison, NC Mafia )
A professed Atheist found himself in fierce combat during the Korean war.
As the Priest walked near him while holding his Crucifex prominently in front,
the “atheist” meekly inquired : Now how does that thing work?
**************
W.C. Fields when asked why he was reading the Bible on his deathbed:
“I’m looking for loopholes”
I WONDER?
Is the list of maladies I’ve now had longer than than the list of those I haven’t?
“SNOOTY COOCHER ” (X-RATED )
SNOOTY COOCHER (X-RATED)
THE ATHLETIC summarized college football’s frequent flyers today:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1K3qpwHvh4PtTWvhcDcCtVE2CuBBaJ8_JIWuX6fZelb0/edit?tab=t.0
The abandonment of traditional rules has, it seems, allowed a great way to make money!
“ A window of opportunity!”
Assuming some governance will soon be enforced, then these transfers might be an unparalleled opportunity. Who can blame the players?
From the mid 60’s till the 70’s ( Post pill to pre- Aids ), there were “opportunities”.
“ PICNIC DAY FOR TEDDYBEARS”
JUSTIFIED
Raylan Givens: Sometimes, we have to make deals with lowlifes because we have our sights set on life forms even somehow lower on the ladder of lowlife than they.
TEAM SPIRIT
BULLDOG
At midseason 1979 I promised my team I would paint my car in the new school colors if we won 25 matches. (25/3 ! ). I took it to STEVE’S CORVETTE with the instructions to paint it royal blue and white, with a thin gold trim–as these were the new choices.
It was really my wife’s car and when we picked it up and she saw TWO FOOT GOLD STRIPES, she dropped to her knees and cried. I only laughed and blurted, “… it looks like a Pepsi ad.”
Looking at the front end one can see a blurred silver hood ornament. It is a 10 inch Mac truck
Bulldog hood ornament— Our team’s mascot.
Earl Boykin and some Tanquaray gin affixed it to the hood, in between laughing at it.
It was easily unique and people knew where I was (“ You’ve been spending a lot of time at the ELK’S Club, Coach ). When I rode around Wilson, NC most cars would blow their horn or surely someone would wave. Religiously, I would wave back.
After a few years I changed jobs. So we painted THE BULLDOG a pleasant green.
Before moving to the new town, I waved at a lot of people that didn’t wave back.
MAN TO MAN OR ZONE?
Tee called last night. He wants to know if he can get some help with his 10 years old basketball team. Maybe one of the Odom boys.
There are nine players. Son Lennox warned his Dad on the way to the first practice : ” … Four of these kids are crazy!”
Coach Tee spoke about 15 seconds before “the worst of the four” emptied his water cooler on the floor. Tee said “the four” have never since acknowledged that Tee was there.
Luckily 1. The other five are pretty good, And 2, the gym has two goals.
The 4 took off to goal 2. Tee’s 5 worked hard interrupted by several fights and obscene language from the 4 goal. Tee admitted seeing one 4 kick a wet floor pylon that drew blood from another.
He also confessed he told his five— I will bring them up to play. Beat them bad.
Worst 4 beat best 5. Worst of the 4 hit the winner.
Team vote on team name —BOULDER MAYHEM.
Russell Rawlings is coming tomorrow. He is not only a four graduate, but revelled in coaching them. He’ll help.
The Little Green Book of Tennis 