THE GREAT DEPRESSION–1929–
A Ferrol Sam’s character, providing a bed in his home to a destitute acquaintence, offered ” …IF YOU NEED ANYTHING CALL ME, AND I WILL TALK YOU OUT OF NEEDING IT.”
Category: HUMOR/ ODDS AND ENDS
Dorm Life
Today’s interesting news includes two Cornell University students who quartered a 200 pound Black Bear in their University dorm room. Legit hunting by the two.
This reminded me of a late coaching friend in ihe 1960’s. Unnamed, a college linebacker of note, duct taped his dorm room and turned on all water sources. Once the room filled he went ” scuba diving” in West Dorm–Room 221.
The tape around the door frame gave way and all the hallway flooded.
The coaching staff found “off campus housing” for #32.
IT’S NICE TO KNOW THERE’S STILL A FEW OLD COUNTRY BOYS AROUND
VOTE FOR RON
FROM NYT
Insults, Expletives and Fat-Shaming: Vance Trolls Critics on the Right and Left.
CLIPS
It was hardly the first time that someone on social media called someone else fat. But it may have been the first time that a vice president of the United States did so.
Mr. Vance also appears to have a natural appetite for conflict, the product of a generation that grew up with gladiatorial political instincts. It is not enough that someone else may be wrong about policy or politics; they must be stupid, mendacious, vile or, yes, even overweight.
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Comedian Ron White, who said “F— you ! “, to his debate opponent, concluded : I THOUGHT I’D WON !
Squirrel Proof?
SHOW ME THE BIRDFEEDER
” Quotable Quotes”
JUSTIFIED’S Raylan: “It is hard to imagine the wonderful things that might happen if you can plant the seeds of distrust among a garden of assholes.”
SOME OLD, SOME OLDER
JUSTIFIED’S Raylan: “It is hard to imagine the wonderful things that might happen if you can plant the seeds of distrust among a garden of assholes.”
Winston Churchill: “When you are going through hell, keep going.”
“The secret to management is to keep the guys who hate you from the undecided.” Casey Stengel.
One golfer said another was even tempered on the golf course: “He was an asshole the whole round.”
•Tom Brokaw concluded: “For parents, bribery is a white collar crime. For grandparents, it’s a business plan.”
At a recent post-golfing social event, I overheard one wife chastise another. “Alice, you’ve got the wrong name tag on.” Alice: “… I’m much too drunk to wear my own name tag.”
JAMES ALLEN ROSE
•A local high school running back was extremely quick and agile. A zig-zagging touchdown kickoff return brought this comment from an admiring hoi toiler coach: “My lord Son, you run ‘er like a hard crab”.
Unrelated favorites:
1. Women and cats will do as they wish. Men and dogs should get used to this fact.
2. The game film looks suspiciously like the game. Coach Bum Phillips
3. On Coach Landry of the Dallas Cowboys: “Does the coach ever smile? Player (Walt
Garrison) “I don’t know, I’ve only been here three years”.
t know, I’ve only been here three years”.
4. “…if you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?”
Response: “Living—-you think I am stupid?” From Jim Hightower.
5. Eulogy at “Curly’s funeral. “God, we give you Curly. Don’t piss him off!”
From “City Slickers 2”.
6. From Coach Darrell Royal
A: …faster than small town gossip”.
B…”I had hoped God would be neutral”.
C ”You are “what-iffing”. Anybody can “what- if”.
7. Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. W.B Yeats.
8. Every harlot was a virgin once. W. Blake
9. Courage is fear, holding on a minute longer. G. Patton
10. Buy the ticket, take the ride. Hunter Thompson
11. Don’t go around thinking the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. M. Twain
12. If today was a fish, I’d throw it back in.
13. Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother’s side. Stanley Ralph Ross.
14. It is better to be a coward for a minute than dead for the rest of your life. Irish Proverb.
15. Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life a champion. Muhammad Ali
16. Expect problems and eat them for breakfast.
7. He that hath no children brings them up well.
18. A good scare is better than good advice.
19. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.
20. For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson
21. Diplomacy is the art of saying “Nice doggie” until you can find a rock. Will Rogers. •22. One Father is worth more than a hundred schoolmasters. George Herbert
23. Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable. Plato
24.”…he that is without sin…Pick some up”. Barry Saunders
25. “I graduated with a 4.0, but it was my blood alcohol level.” James Carville.
26. “I cussed him out in Spanish, and he threw me out in English”. Lou Pinella, on being
thrown out of a game by umpire Armando Rodriguez.
27. “I can’t believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest. Steven Pearl.
28. “All pro athletes are bilingual. They speak English and profanity.” Gordie Howe
29. “Thank you from the heart of my bottom”. Nick Faldo.
30. “I’ve been around since “Preparation A”. Jack McKeon
31. “Think you are a leader? Turn around and look back: if no one is following, you are just taking a walk.”
32. “It’s hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass out all day long”. Vince Gill in drag (You Tube)
33. I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. Mae West
34. I’ve been in more laps than a napkin. Mae West
35. I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died. Richard Diran •
COMEDIC HISTORY
THE FAMILY NAIA FRENCH OPEN
My Grandson just won the Family NAIA French Open .
- We have a spin wheel for order of the draft. #1 gets first pick. The one who draws last makes their pick and also the next pick, with the draw order in reverse back to #1.
2. Any event is okay. If you pick Men’s Singles, coaches continue the draft of the total field until you have selected SIX players for your team.
3. Once the tournament begins, your team gets one point for each match your six players win. The six with the most wins is the Champion.
LENNOX WON THE FRENCH
SLIPOVERS
World’s Top Producer of Condoms Raises Prices as Iran War Rattles Supply Chain
( From today’s New York Times ).
THINGS ARE GETTING SERIOUS !
HOMER OF THE SEA
Homer
Homer Hewitt, late and legendary resident of our community, is remembered fondly and often with amusement.
A retired Philadelphia lawyer, he was “of the sea”. And perhaps best known locally for his ocean swims, he amazed us all at the tough times and weathers he dipped in to.
He lived into his 90’s- mischievous till the end.
Wife Gwen recently recalled introducing her newly betrothed fiance to her Family.
“Homer was about 60. I was to pick him up at the airport but didn’t see him. As he got closer
It dawned on me that the guy in the Grateful Dead tee shirt was Homer. Bandana, earrings and all. My brother’s initial reaction was pure shock, but my Parents saw Homer’s humor immediately.”
FOXHOLES
“There are no Atheists in foxholes.”
(From Jack Webster, Grand Poobah of Madison, NC Mafia )
A professed Atheist found himself in fierce combat during the Korean war.
As the Priest walked near him while holding his Crucifex prominently in front,
the “atheist” meekly inquired : Now how does that thing work?
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W.C. Fields when asked why he was reading the Bible on his deathbed:
“I’m looking for loopholes”
The Little Green Book of Tennis 