“There are no Atheists in foxholes.”

(From Jack Webster, Grand Poobah of Madison, NC Mafia )

A professed Atheist found himself in fierce combat during the Korean war.

As the Priest walked near him while holding his Crucifex prominently in front,

the “atheist” meekly inquired : Now how does that thing work?

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W.C. Fields when asked why he was reading the Bible on his deathbed:

“I’m looking for loopholes”