PARENTING ( 56 )

Recently I saw the Will Smith portrayal of Mr. Williams and family.  Below are articles iI have written, the first in 2007:

KING RICHARD 2007 (from PLAY IS WHERE LIFE IS)

Another factor in American tennis can’t be overlooked. The role of parents. Connors (mother ), McEnroe (father), Evert (father), Aggassi (father, brother), and the Williams’ sisters, are ample proof that the tremendous role of parents in the development of Championship level American players. 

Mr. Williams certainly gets the award for “out of the box” results. To train one child to be #1 in the world is amazing, but #1 and #2 at the same time is un- precedented. And done without normal routes of American Junior play and USTA super-support says a lot. I have to say I was disappointed by the way the Williams sisters were often treated by many in American tennis. 

*********

FEB. 2022

Being a tennis teacher/coach,  the film’s depiction of how this happened was both interesting and historical.    Much theory about tennis has evolved in the last fifty years.  Mr. Williams taught himself from this explosion.   Pronation of the wrist when serving,  open stance forehands,  maximum number of hits and drilling, throwing the racket in service motion, ball can serve targets, etc.

The names of Braden, Macci. many players, country clubs to ghetto,  spot on.

Many have noted tennis at high level is like fighting with rackets  rather than gloves.  How the trainers brought along young boxers was a common part of understanding that losing (particularly singularly ) is tough.  The choice to skip junior tournaments was maybe the most important and unique choice made.  

There was a more important lesson made in the film and in reality.  A bigger lesson.  Richard Williams showed the route to success in American tennis.  Families are our best teachers and coaches and academies.  No one cares like good parents.

Whatever sport , or whether sports, parental leadership works best.

 The Williams family taught a big lesson.  Richards’ father ran from danger.  When Venus was in her darkest moment he ran to her (‘ I have never been more proud of you”).

He risked his life.  He gave his life.  Give him credit.

*********

Patrick Mouratoglon,  Serena Williams’ tennis coach, said it.  The commentators missed a great chance.  Was the USTA listening closely?  His point about Co Co Gault’s win over Venus Williams was, here is another example of where great American tennis players have come from, then and now.  What better example could you want:  From Richard Williams and Venus and Serena, to 2019 Wimbledon and Co Co and her parents.   The Bryan brothers and their dad,  Isner and his mom, all the  way back to Chris Evert and her father.  Connors and mom.  McEnroe/Father.  No one gives their attention to a child like  parents.   There were five American men entered in the 2019 French Open.  Tiafoe, at #32, was the only seeded American male.  Taylor  Fritz won a first round match.  The rest lost.

For the umpteenth time,  all entities sincerely interested in developing quality American tennis players, should demand a reasonable slice of college tennis scholarships for American students.  Parents need help, a carrot at the end.

Former college tennis players
Jack Kramer, Arthur Ashe, Stan Smith, John McEnroe, Bob and Mike Bryant, Jim Courier, Brad Gilbert, Bill Tilden, Roscoe Tanner, Jimmy Connors, Dennis Ralston, Dick Stockton, Vitas Gerulaitis, Michael Chang, Malavai Washington, Todd Martin, Bob Lutz, Bill Talbert, Tony Trabert,, Vince Spadea, John Isner, Steve Johnson, MANY MORE.

PORTALS POTHOLES ( 59 )

I am considering doing edition 3 of THE LITTLE GREEN BOOK of TENNIS. Since published in 2015 (first edition ) high school teams have all changed players. Fifty percent of coaches have turned over. And, as always , things in the sports world change fast.

For years football coaches have often recruited unhappy players from other teams. Or those who can legally transfer and play at a different school. The new NCAA “Portals Rule ” has jetstreamed this strategy. One of the sad side effects of “Portals ” is that high school seniors are overlooked for older and seasoned upperclass college kids.

My guess is that this avenue will adopted to American college tennis. And it will undoubtedly involve international players who can now easily move to “greener pastures. American high school aspirants will be moved down the prospects list, or be dismissed even quicker.

SEA DOG ( 68 )

Memories often lag among us 80’s. I have several beloved friends whose wives have been thrust into “caregiver roles”. I remember my 90 year old Mom lamenting “…all my friends are gone!”

Alton played for the BEAUFORT SEA DOGS. In the 60’s this coastal village in North Carolina produced three straight high school state basketball titles. He and a bunch of high tider boys named Hassell won 91 straight games. And they are proud of it. For years I listened with envy as they all recalled details from each years games. Alton was perhaps the most meticulous oral historian of all the BEAUFORT SEADOGS.

A popular commment recently was “…seventy may be the new sixty, but eighty is still eighty!” One suggestion is to limit questions to my gang. “Do you remember…. yeilds a blank, often panicked look.

I recently asked Alton, what schools did you guys beat in the state championship playoffs? Oops–his face became overtaken by “the look”.

Momentarily though, with a new, confident expression –he answered my question : “All of em!!

Touche.

MEAN MAN COACHES 11 (74 )

A discussion among a group of retired tennis coaches included this question posedof a new retiree : Why did you retire so early? The amusing answer included new limitations on the amount of cursing, dress requiremrnts, shorter practices, and such. The coach laughingly concluded ” Heck, they were taking away all my main tools and techniques. Basic fundamentals of my coaching!

Subsequently, on a trip to celebrate the 80th birthday of friend Bill Morningstar, we again told old basketball tales. Which inevitably led to Bill’s college basketball coach, Bill Miller. M’star not only played point guard for Miller’s Elon College teams, he was his assistant for a record number of seasons.

Here is an earlier discription of Miller tales I collected:

Coach Miller was from Harlan, Kentucky, and he spoke that language.  Around anyone from the Dean to his players.  I knew him not only from the basketball world, but tennis too.  AC was in the same conference as Elon (the North State, then the Carolinas Conference) and Coach and I were around each other often.  I’d heard countless stories about him, and had witnessed several “classics” myself.

One pastime in my early times at Elon was to ask anyone who had been around Elon for a while if they “Knew Coach Miller?”  This invariably drew one of two unequivocal responses.

#1  “I didn’t care form him.” (that meant my interview subject had probably walked across the gym floor in street shoes.  If so, some variation of “Get your goddammed ass off my gym floor”,  came from Coach.

Author’s note:  I know I’ll be chastened for language, particularly for using Coach Miller’s, but “ if I’m lying I’m flying.” Ask any Elon veteran.

Miller was rawboned, black haired, and glared at you. His assistant Coach Bill Morningstar covered for him as best he could.  Booze, language, threats, violence itself, was everyday “Miller Time.”  Miller would run ‘em off, “Star would go get ‘em.

The #2 reaction I got was always priceless, and always different.  Coach Miller was creative.

Once the “Fightin’ Christians” had uncharacteristically lost its first four games at home, all the while winning three straight on the road.  The team was to play its next game at home.  Instead of meeting at the usual 5:30 pm time for pre-game meal, Miller told Morningstar to “get their asses down here at 3 o’clock sharp.  Tell them to wear their road uniforms.”  Morningstar never questioned Miller.  No one was more loyal.

Dressing in their team room, Miller ordered them outside into the travel vans.  He and ‘Star drove both vans all over Alamance County. Then, back in the gym lot, he coached them to go get dressed, eat, and come back and play like you are “on the road.”

Elon had great teams under Coach Miller.  The fans wondered what he’d do next.

Players, too!

Once the van stalled on the railroad tracks.  Miller goosed the ignition, while admonishing, “don’t none of you bastards move.”

Grr! Grrr! Then a train whistle.  Here came the Norfolk Southern, balling the jack.  No one moved.  Finally, moments before the 80 m.p.h. train knocked the van over a power line, Miller relented  “Every man for himself.”  Morningstar was in that van.

Miller cancelled a game with Campbell University and Coach Danny Roberts:  “There’s a dangerous snow up here, Danny.”  Really it was a snow job.  Elon had four starters with the flu.

Administration, faculty, students, fellow coaches all had a Miller story.  If you meet one, ask ‘em.

Perhaps my favorite was from Bill Bowes.  Bowes was typical of most freshmen in the early ‘60’s.  Fresh, tender, white, and about to confront his coach.  At 6’7” Bill started his first game.  It was home, in Alumni Gym.  Packed house for rival High Point College coached by Jerry Steele, 6’9” Hall of Famer. 

On his first college play Bowes said that as he battled for the rebound under High Point’s basket, he inadvertently tapped it in….for High Point.

Embarrassed, then stunned, as he saw Coach Miller bound off the bench calling “Time out,” just before grabbing Bowes in the center circle.

Miller walked his puzzled freshman center right up to Coach Steele and said “Steele, this Son of a Bitch is knocking them in for you guys.  Let him sit his ass on your bench.”  And plopped Bowes in to an empty chair.

One player resented being called an S.O.B. and requested a conference with Miller; telling his coach he objected to him insulting his parents.  Miller paused ever so briefly, and according to Morningstar concluded.  “You are right.  I’ve met you parents and they are really fine people.  I guess you’re a self made Son of a Bitch.”

Morningstar swears that when he and high school teammate, Chip Connors, tried out for Miller and Elon, Miller recruited them thusly: (He was in his Boxer Shorts)  “Well if you two Sons of Bitches want to come to Elon, I’ll give both scholarships.  If one of you only wants to come, I’ll give that Son of a Bitch a scholarship.  If neither of you comes, I’ll go find me two more Sons of Bitches.”  He walked out.

With my fondness for characters, I delighted in Miller at conference games, when he or I scouted, or at tennis matches.

Actually at tennis matches we rarely watched tennis.  The routine went about like this if we were at Elon: He’d always give me something, a shirt, a film of a game I played in, some shoes, or something.  He’d then give the balls and the scorecard to his “captain.”  Miller didn’t know but one player’s name, his “captain.”

Then we’d go back to his office, or the gym and talk basketball, for a while.  Then we’d ride to Huey’s BBQ for a “gratis” sandwich.  We’d be in his pickup and when he finished his beer, he’d left hand the can out the driver’s window into the truck bed.  It had a lot of beer cans in it.

If we played in Wilson he was trapped at the courts.  One sunny March day he started taking off cloths.  Got down to his pants only.  I thought he was going to keep going so I asked him a question.

“Coach, did you see the All-East basketball team in Sunday’s News and Observer?”

Integration was in full bloom and Eastern NC High Schools had a particularly good crop of talent.

“You got that paper?” he asked.  

“Its over at the library? Wanna go?”

I walked him over.  I owed him many favors, plus I was afraid he’d strip.

The librarian at Hackney Library was Irene Harrell. She was a tough one.  I asked her if she’d let us see this particular issue.  “Sure” and she brought it to the reference desk.

Miller located the sports section, then the All-Star page.  He simply ripped it out of the paper and walked out the door.  I didn’t go in the library for a long time, and Mrs. Harrell never spoke to me again.

Miller was so colorful, people tended to look over his virtues.  While intense as a coach, he was just as intense as a friend.  Almost always people would cite his generosity and kindness to less fortunate community people.

Bill Morningstar said he’d use the team to pick strawberries and pass them around the town and campus.  Need your swimming pool cleaned? Call Coach.  Years after his departure, good deeds were revealed.  Mostly when he made an attempt to be anonymous in his generosity.

I was moved to hear two incidents revealed by a former football player, Prince Deese, on his induction into the Elon Athletes Hall of Fame.

Obviously Prince was a fine young man.  He did the perfunctory task of thanking his football coaches.  He then told of his relationship with Miller.

Prince said he was an oddity at Elon his first year.  A black kid, and very limited in ability.  He only knew Miller as someone who didn’t like Blacks. He’d never met him.

One day he got a call from Coach Miller saying he’d heard Prince liked to fish.  Prince agreed to meet Miller in front of his dorm, 4:30 am, the next morning.  They rode to a local pond in the dark.  It was very cold.  Very little was said.  Coach Miller lent Prince the proper tackle and they fished.  Prince got his lure caught in a tree that hung out over the water.  He couldn’t untangle it.  And Coach Miller ignored him.  Finally, Prince said, “Mr. Miller, what should I do about the lure?”  Miller responded, “ Get your black ass out there and bring it back.”

Aghast Prince contemplated his options.

Before he could act, Miller stripped, shoes up to waist, waded out waist deep and threw the loosened lure back to Prince.

They fished frequently without anyone’s knowledge until now.  Once, as they were coming home from a successful day, Prince felt brave.  Brave enough to ask Coach Miller what he saw when he looked at Prince”  “Whadda ya mean?”

“Well, I’m quite black, and we always listen to that gosh awful country music.  Couldn’t we play some ‘soul’ once in a while?”

Miller reached across Prince’s midsection and started opening his door.  They were running about 50 m.p.h.  Miller tilted back, still driving, and started trying to push Prince out of the right side with his foot.  “You don’t like my music, you can walk your ass home!”

******************

I began to wonder what “tools, techniques, behaviors the late Coach Miller would have cited as deterents to his coaching:

  1. They gonna let them damn girls play in my gym.
  2. Gotta limit the “F” word.
  3. No more drinking in the office or on the bench.
  4. Players can’t smoke during practice.
  5. Can’t cut the gate receipts.
  6. Can’t bang em around any more. Damn.
  7. No queer or ethnic jokes.
  8. Can’t take things I need from professor’s offices, or the library.
  9. No more waving a noose at referees
  10. Can’t schedule games on Christmas day or after 4pm on Thanksgiving.

In Coach Miller’s time you almost had to be a “mean man coach” to get a job. Almost all of his peers were tough cookies. None I ran into could challenge Bill. “He would make coffee nervous.”

PATRIOTISM

CONVERSATIONS WITH THE COACH

David Odom coached 40 plus years.  And still has a major hand in basketball, as the Director of the Maui Holiday Tournament.   All levels, from junior high, high school. small colleges  to the top of division one.  Head coach or assistant.

We share a love for all sports.  I have a much lesser basketball coaching experience.  His love for tennis and my first love there provides fodder for conversations.

Coach Odom and I share the similarities of background and geography.  Played in the same league, know the same schools and people.

We both love Emerald Isle and our beach.  David is a “dit dotter” (  comes down and goes back) according to local high toiders.  They cast my wife and I  as “dingbatters” (comes and stays).

We both have Wake Forest University ties.  Coach Odom was one of the premier coaches in the Atlantic Coast Conference at Wake during the “golden years”.  Quite differently my knowledge of the Demon Deacons of Wake forest came earlier.  My Father, a Wake ministerial  graduate,  had me indoctrinated by age 7.  From then through high school I bled black and old gold.

Coach Odom understands this and tolerates my questions.

The stats on Coach are available.  Recently he was honored in a special way.   His likeness was hung in the ceiling of Joel Coliseum.  Several comments from him got  my attention:

  1. Question by tp—how did you feel about this event?

Answer by Coach—Most of my former players came.  That was big but I think my best moment was seeing Joel Coliseum happy again.

2,  Question—So most of your players came?

Answer—Yes almost all.

3 Tim Duncan came?

  Yes.  Several players called him.  Has busy schedule but he showed. 

Tom:  How was Tm?  Did you get to talk to him?

  When it was over I  told him what impressed me about him this time was I watched sign autographs, hug old ladies, talk with every one who approached  him.  Tim  does a lot of impressive things.

Tom:  How about Randolph Childress?  You have expressed a lot of admiration for him.

David:  Sure.  Randolph was there.  Pause.  Randolph was the best clutch shooter I knew.  Early on, and down 1 point with few seconds left , Randolph told me “Coach, tell them to give me the ball and get the heck out of my way”.  Worked then and almost every other similar situation.  Clutch.  Confident.

Tom:  What player showed up that surprised you?

Coach:  Rodney Rodgers.

Tp: Wow.  Rodney was there?  (Most tragically Rodney was rendered quadriplegic  in an earlier accident.) 

Coach—Yes and several people were most helpful.  Great player and person.   

I got a little worried when they called me to the floor for the National Anthem.  I looked  everywhere and didn’t see the wheelchair.  Then I looked down the well at the gym’s opening.  There they were. Several friends and his personal aide.  He wore a cap.  As National Anthem was about to begin you could see Rodney speak to his aide.  The aide took his hat off.

WHY TEACH AND COACH? (82)

When I became director of athletics the first thing I did was book an hour
with five different athletic directors I admired.
Dylan said you had to get up close to the teacher if you want to
learn anything.
You never know who you’re influencing when you coach. The same was
true for teaching in college. Formal classroom or just talking to kids.
A basketball player named Damien Carter appeared in my doorway one
day at Elon. He said he rode up and down I-85 often and had planned to
stop by many times.
He was in his 40s, had been a pretty solid player at Atlantic Christian
College, having transferred from UNC-Wilmington. At Wilmington he
hadn’t played as much as he wanted. The same was true at ACC later on,
and he found his chances of pro ball weren’t going to materialize. He was
about to quit college though his grades were good.
I don’t remember the specific conversation with Damien, but it was one
of fifty I’d had with basketball players.
It went like this:
Are you the first from your family to go to college? Often the answer was
yes. You’re not going to make $100,000 playing pro ball, you understand?
You can get your degree and get a good job. People are looking for athletic
people with degrees.
Your job is to elevate your family and its expectations one generation.
Put your money in compound interest, and expect your children to go
to college.
I agreed with Damien that was the gist of what I advised the “first kids.”
Damien smiled and added, “Coach, my two daughters have college
degrees, and I’ve got a million bucks in the bank!” Compound interest.

ATHLETIC BANQUETS: PART 2

Earlier I wrote SPEAKING AT ATHLETIC BANQUETS (see article  14) .    I  do believe some took this to heart.    The North Carolina Sports Hall of Fame  (2013)  was well run.    I was pleased that our state inducted Mrs. Mildred Southern this year.    And Mildred stole the show (more to follow).    Her brief talk stimulated my thinking about the good talks, comments, and speeches I’ve heard at past athletic banquets.   I’ve selected a few,  some original,  some “stolen”,  and some used too often.    Mrs. Southern acknowledged Woody Durham’s glowing introduction by saying  “…yes, Woody, I’ve won a lot of tennis matches,  volunteered  a lot of time and effort and leadership , given money to support tennis and North Carolina  specifically.”   But then she revisited a simple beginning tennis lesson to a young boy :  “I tossed him a ball, and he missed it.   I tossed him another ball.  And he misses it.  Another and another,  and he missed”   An unspoken question  stirred through the audience :  How long is this going to go on?”   Mrs. Southern concluded,  “…then I tossed him a ball and he HIT IT”!    She paused,  then added, “…the look of joy on his face was why I  did it all”   She sat down.    WOW!     Last year (2012) my friend and certainly a coaching mentor,  Henry Trevathan gave a similarly remarkable and short talk…Remember  “1.  Practice is mine, 2. The game is yours, 3.  We rule the hall.”?   Kelvin Bryant got a good laugh this year when,  after the usual thank you’s,  he realized “…I guess I need to add my ATTORNEY to this list!”  Coach Russ Frazier told his wife they were moving to the beach!   She said she’d have to have a new bathing suit…”Why?”  Coach Frazier asked.   His wife replied, ” …cause the old one has a hole in the knee!”   At an Elon Hall of Fame banquet a recipient,  unable to attend,  simply sent a letter.  The next inductee,  Coach Sid Varney,  began by quizzically saying “…I  didn’t know you could send a letter!”  One tale on Coach Varney was that he took his football team to a game in Florida,  where their opponent vastly over matched  his team.   Six Elon players were injured to the point of hospitalization….Picking them up at the hospital the manager asked good Coach Varney  “…Coach,  should  I go in and get them?”   Varney’s reply:   “Nah!   Just blow the horn!”   Every school used to have some “hard” coaches..here are some standard comments.   Reporter:  “Coach,  what do you think of your team’s execution?”   Coaches response;  “I think it’a  good idea!”   Again—Stunned fan states “…that guy looks like he doesn’t know the meaning of fear.”   Coach: “THAT guy doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”   Another coach summarized,  “…we started slow and tapered off”.   M.L. Carr did an interesting thing by honoring a friend.   While entering the NC Sports HALL of Fame “with your spouse”, M.L. was accompanied by a male.  Turned some heads.   M.L., when introduced said rather than spotlight himself he had elected to spotlight this friend,  a man who had befriended and mentored him as a  youngster in need of help.    He chose this special time to recognize his depth of appreciation for an unattached  person who saw  fit to help a  struggling youngster.   Bill Weathers was an inductee into the North Carolina Sports Hall of Fame some years back.   A fine golfer as well as a stellar tennis player,  Bill snuck up on us in this way:   He would cite a time he went off to play golf or in a tennis tournament and tell some detail about his “play”.   He would then add what his Wife did while he was away.   Bill described his use of that time, generally some kind of play.   He would then compare his wife’s use of that same time,  which included “minor” issues such as childbirth,  a job, child rearing, helping a friend in need, dealing with serious health problems, and the like.    She had done some truly tough and good things.   And while Bill used his time to thank and recognize her,  she rose to say “BILL WEATHERS—when we get home  I’m gonna kill you.”   What a fine woman and tribute.   Coach Jerry Moore asked his wife,  “…honey,  did you in your wildest dreams,  ever think this could happen to us?”   Wife’ answer?   “You weren’t in my wildest dreams.”   OUCH!    Actually this one has been passed around quite a bit.   We are getting more creative.   For years the old one about “Peahead’ Walker,  the Wake Forest football coach,  taking a Wake  recruit to Duke’s campus and later calling it our “western campus”, was told at every banquet.    Guilty myself ,  I used a line from a European tennis player,  who when asked about the inconvenience of coming from Europe for his induction into the  Intercollegiate Tennis Hall of Fame,  asserted “…I would have walked.”  Me too!   Here is a good opening line:   Inductee;   “What should I talk about?”  Monitor:  “Talk about 5 minutes.”  Remember  that one if nothing else.   An old timer,  “Lefty” Briggs  of Elon rose to accept his award:  “I’ve practiced my speech so much, I’m  too hoarse to give it.  Thank you.”   And sat down.   Bobby Bowden of Florida State University’s football  team spoke for F.S.U.  when they tied The University of Tennessee’s  women’s basketball team for ESPN Team of the Year.    Coach Pat Summit of U.T. was unable to attend and was represented by a U.T. athletics administrator who spoke of the tremendous strides of women American sports.   Coach Bowden struck a blow for male chauvinism when he followed her speech with this jewel:  “My  wife really wanted to be here.  She’s been planning for weeks.  Been packed for days.  But what the heck,  you can’t remember everything!”   Surely one can get over the line with smut, length, politics, religion, cliches, etc.   And not all great people are great speakers, or interviews.   I think its best to memorize you speech.   Have  a glass of water nearby.   And watch your emotions.       Humor is certainly helpful.   One source I’ve used lately is, oddly,  obituaries!   Here are a few examples.  1.  A  professor at UNC-Chapel Hill, bothered by all the recent criticism of athletics penned several obits that featured the deceased’s loyalties to college sports programs, i.e.,  “…he was a lifelong Tar Heel fan!”   Or,  “…ever loyal to the Wolfpack” etc.   One he cited was a man from Wisconsin.  He was said to “…love the  Badgers,  the Green Bay Packers, and MOST of his grandchildren.”   Another fanatic, no longer able to attend games in person,  watched his favorite school every time they were on TV,  “…often  from a three point stance.”   Most recently a Cleveland  resident and Cleveland Browns football diehard requested six players from the Browns to be his pallbearers.  He said he wanted the Cleveland Browns to “,,,let him down one last time”.    A man named Tom Taylor of Chapel Hill, and a cancer victim had called and asked if he  could renegotiate with the crematory.     His reasoning:  ” I’ve lost down from 180lbs. to about 120lbs and think I deserve a discount.”

LENOX RAWLINGS, INDUCTION ACCEPTANCE INTO NC SPORTS HALL OF FAME

Below is the text of the induction comments by Lenox Rawlings, upon his entrance as a member of THE NORTH CAROLINA SPORTS HALL OF FAME.
Lenox is a retired writer. This becomes obvious. What was equally impressive was the way he presented his insights.
Lenox is a “homey” from Wilson,NC. A lot people were proud of Lenox, myself certainly included. But none more than BROTHER RUSSELL

LENOX RAWLINGS
NC SPORTS HALL OF FAME
MAY 15, 2015

When I was a boy growing up in Wilson, my grandfather would pick me up on Sundays around lunchtime and drive downtown to the Cherry Hotel newsstand across the street from the train station. He would buy a New York newspaper, and then we’d ride over to Fleming Stadium and enjoy the lazy hour or so before a Carolina League baseball game. I’d lay across the back seat in his Buick Special and get lost in the sports pages of the Herald-Tribune or the Times. We’d ask each other questions and exchange opinions – none of which I remember specifically. But I do remember feeling completely at peace.

It’s impossible to say when my love of sports and my love of language met at the crossroads, but one thing led to another, and now that I’m my grandfather’s age, I’m somewhat astonished to find myself standing here tonight accepting this great honor. There are lots of people to thank, beginning with my family, who taught me the difference between right and wrong and encouraged me to be myself and to do whatever I wanted to do in life.

My parents read at the beginning and end of every day and took us to the library where my mother later worked. My father, Lenox Jr., was a masterful storyteller with a dancer’s fine sense of timing, and he could leave a room roaring with laughter. My mother, Gloria, had a dry wit and precise powers of observation and considerable insight into human character. When I was about 11, she handed me her new copy of “To Kill a Mockingbird” and said, maybe for the only time, “I think you should read this.” She was right, of course. My brothers John and Russell and my sister Ann supported whatever I did and read my columns even if they had little interest in the subject. My wife Janice was a bit more discriminating. She preferred the good ones or the unusual ones, like that one about the alleged intelligence of the elusive largemouth bass. Janice reinforced the importance of intellectual honesty in everyone around her. She carried on cheerfully whenever I took off across the country to cover another story, and she traveled with me far and wide, especially after Jennifer and Barak grew up.

All of them sacrificed something for my freedom of movement.

So did my editors and publishers at the Winston-Salem Journal and other newspapers. They gave me freedom of expression. They defended my freedom of speech whenever they had to, which required more spine than you find in fair-weather guardians of the First Amendment. Fortunately, most of my interview subjects were civilized and cooperative. Many of the people I’ve written about and many of the writers I’ve worked beside are loyal friends. I’ve been lucky that way – in so many ways, really.

From elementary school through college, certain teachers recognized my affinity for descriptive writing and reacted positively. This happens every day in every school around the state, so it galls me when I hear politicians lump all teachers together and criticize them for failing to fix every breakdown in our society.

I’ll admit to an inherent bias. My other grandfather was a high school teacher and football coach before he became the town manager of Wendell. And, for half a century, I have watched teachers and coaches help young folks change their lives for the better. I’ve seen the modest home where my high school teammate Carlester Crumpler lived, raised by his loving grandmother. I’ve seen the neighborhood where Rodney Rogers grew up. I’ve seen the backyard goal where Kay Yow and her sisters and brother learned to shoot, long before women had a tangible future in basketball.

The beauty of sports – the democratic essence of sports, really – is that everyone stands on his or her own merits. Success depends on talent and work and persistence and passion, not privilege. These are basic values that endure long after the cheering fades. I’m more impressed with Carlester as an adviser to college students than Carlester the teenage legend. I’m more impressed with how Rodney has handled personal tragedy than how he handled basketball glory. I’m more impressed with Kay’s legacy as a cancer pioneer than her record as a pioneering coach.

They represent the best among us, but they aren’t alone. This room is full of people whose formal educations began in North Carolina’s public schools, people who developed a love for fair competition and helping teammates reach their potential, people who can look back through the clutter and clatter of modern times and recognize the wisdom of these simple ideas. When I was young, North Carolina was a leader in public education, but we’ve slipped. We should vastly improve the public schools for a future beyond our time – not because it’s the liberal or conservative thing to do, or the black or white thing to do, but because it’s the right thing to do. And because out there tonight in North Carolina, other kids are sitting in cars reading their electronic devices – maybe even reading the New York papers – and wondering how their stories will turn out. They deserve a fair chance, too.

MY DANNY TALBOTT STORY

Danny Talbott lost his war with cancer. Many thought he’d win. He won every thing else. Danny was a baptist preacher’s kid. In the 1960’s in North Carolina he was legendary. His pre-integration time called for every able bodied, red blooded male to play football. Most added basketball and baseball, as did Danny. Tennis and golf were for sissies. No one had heard of soccer. Maybe Pele. No girls allowed.
Coach Henry Trevathan coached Danny in Rocky Mount, NC. He said Danny was like another coach on the field. And not just in football. Rocky Mount won state titles in football, then basketball, then baseball, then football again the next year.
I was a “Peacock” in 1963/64. Danny’s freshman year at UNC-Chapel Hill. Peacocks were so called as our graduate school advisor was the beloved Dr. Bill Peacock. There were thirty college grads who taught the UNC freshman classes. I was teaching a basketball class on the Woollen Gym floor when Jack Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas.
Having lived in Wilson,NC, 18 miles from Talbott and Rocky Mt., I knew of his career. And told my fellow Peacocks who were mostly unaware of his feats. Freshman were ineligible then, and my colleagues hardly believed my hype. As basketball arrived Danny changed uniforms like a superhero. Shoulder pads for sneakers even after basketball and the remarkable Bobby Lewis show had started. All my buddies were there to watch Lewis. When they inserted Danny into the lineup, I loudly alerted them to his entry. Sure enough he was shortly on the foul line with two free throws. Nothing but foul lane, 1 and 2. howls and chagrin. Exit Danny until the game’s end, when fouled out Tar Heels dictated his reentry.
Sure enough, with one point down and seconds on the clock, there is Talbott on the line, with game on the line. Swish goes #1, swish #2, Game Talbott.
Come spring time there he is on the diamond, first year of an outstanding college baseball career. He later told me, “…I probably should have pursued pro baseball.”
Danny was easy to like. Big smile, rosy/rusty cheeks that glowed. Made you feel great. Bobby Dunn and I are friends and he and Danny were very close. When Danny went into sales after pro football, Bobby said he missed competition and was considering tennis. Send him over, I suggested.
Low and behold here he came to our college courts. Coat and tie abandoned for shorts and racket, on the run.
Danny was ambidextrous. He was hitting groundstrokes left handed forehand and backhand. His beginning shots looked good to me. “Why are you so discouraged?” I asked him.
“Watch this serve” he whimpered. He was correct. I never thought I’d see Danny Talbott look awkward at anything, but this was pretty awful to watch. He tried a couple of more serves. Then the duh? moment. Left-handed serve?
“Danny, aren’t you the quarterback that holds the NCAA record for 28 out o32 pass completions in the EAST/WEST All-Star game?” A puzzled “yes”. Did you throw them left handed ? Well, no of course.
Below is the quickest, most productive lesson I taught in my career:
1. The serve is a throw. Put the racket in your right hand. Turn your grip a little this way (“first knuckle, first bevel”). Now serve it like a throw.
2. Your wrist action at hit moment is much like a fast ball or slider is thrown.

I’m not sure if it was the first serve he tried, but I know it was before the fourth, that repeated ace like rockets zoomed over the net. I know he wanted to stop and thank me but he was having too much fun, I was too. So, I’d toss him a ball and a big “thump” would echo. I only asked about the grip, as that action is hard to see? “Yeah, fastball, slider, I got it!”
He would show up with questions and conversations. Eventually he played right handed while serving, left-handed on both ground strokes. On overheads he hit ones on the right, right-handed. The ones on the left, left handed.
It wasn’t long before I was getting reports that he was right in the middle of NC senior tennis tournaments. And, later, he did a similar thing with golf, becoming an accomplished player there too.
The last time I saw him was a year ago in Wilson’s DICK’S HOT DOG STAND. He was with a man I didn’t know, but later Danny said was his “cancer doctor”. “We go out to eat once a month”.
Rocky Mount named their hospital’s new cancer center after Danny Talbott.

Danny was so gracious with me. He always said “…that’s my tennis coach, he made my game.” But I always knew the “Big Coach” made Danny. He made a masterpiece.
PS–you guys who play sports up there. He’s coming. But you better be ready. He’s competitive.

ECHOES FROM THE VAN

Maybe the saddest conversation occurred late one night after a match. Driving silently the boys talked about the spring break they’d just returned from.
Another kid stated, “My mom drinks gin all day. She’s a drunk.”
“Hmmm. I came home four nights last week and passed by my Dad, drunk in a chair. He never recognized me.”
Silence. Then from the back Rocky Peed spoke: “You guys don’t know any- thing. Last year I saved $50, all I had, and bought myself a new racket for the high school championships. I got dressed to leave and couldn’t find my racket. My father had sold it for $5 to buy a pint of whiskey.”
That one touched me.
Rocky had been a “need” case. I first heard about him when some one said he was going to attend Atlantic Christian.
I knew he was a pretty good player but he had no phone. He lived with his grandmother. She was his only family, having kicked Rocky’s father out.
Not only could I not call him, when I went to the tournaments Rocky was in, he ducked me.
Finally I cornered him in front of a small group of junior players. I introduced myself and commented that I’d heard he was interested in our school.
Rocky was 6’3”, longhaired, and really nice looking young man. He blushed and asked “Could I speak to you over there Coach?”
In private, he told me he knew who I was. Sam Modlin had told him all about our school. It sounds great.
“But Coach, I can’t go to college. I don’t have any money. All the kids I play with talk about their college plans all the time. I just said I was going to Atlantic Christian to save face. I’m sorry. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Rocky, you can come to AC on the B.E.O.G. (Federal aid for needy kids.) If you want to come, I’ll get you in. Don’t worry about the money. Rocky, a 1975 graduate, is now a grandfather, and highly successful insurance agent.
He also won a District Singles title. I bought his racket for him.