“IF YOU GO OUT IN THE WOODS TODAY—”

My wife and I just returned from a trip to my childhood hometown. A friend had recommended a bed-and-breakfast in the neighborhood where I grew up.

There were six guests at breakfast. From a conversation the night before, I knew that one of the men we had met was a Ph.D. in herpetology—the study of reptiles. We did not know the other couple.

Five of us were carrying on a breakfast conversation when I finally asked the quiet gentleman about his profession. When he explained that he had an impressive background in entomology—the study of insects—I introduced Dr. Snakes to Dr. Bugs.

Those two guys knew a lot about critters and creepers.

The late Jeanne Robertson often advised asking someone with an unusual profession, “What is the funniest thing that ever happened to you?”

So Dr. Snakes told us about a scheduled dissection of an alligator.

The professor decided to open the gator before the students arrived. As he examined the contents of the alligator’s stomach, he discovered a grotesque mass that appeared to be a human hand and arm.

Further examination revealed that the appendage actually belonged to a bear.

The professor could not resist.

He took off his wristwatch and attached it to the bear’s wrist. Then he sewed “Bruno” back up and waited for his students.

I suspect those students never forgot that lesson in herpetology.

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This is a previous blog edited by AI. The Madison NC town clock below is still there. Our group of preteens could climb to the top. Those with smaller arms could alter the hands of the clock. Madison Mayhem (1950)