North Carolina is divided into 3 distinct parts. The eastern part features our real characters. They get out of bed thinking of something funny to say. Being a child of the 60’s (Brando, James Dean, Dylan) cool things to say catch me ear.
Jules from “restaurant scene in PULP FICTION: “I been saying that %^*& for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold blooded thing to say to ^%*%$#@% ‘fore you popped a cap in his ass.” Jules was as cool as Miles Davis.
How bout JUSTIFIED’S Raylan: “It is hard to imagine the wonderful things that might happen if you can plant the seeds of distrust among a garden of assholes.”
Winston Churchill: “When you are going through hell, keep going.”
“He could fight as good from the bottom as from the top”. (Did Country say that?)
Jim Drummond: The boss said his worker had ADD (…all day to do it).
Regarding current politics, one easterner says he is suffering from E.D. or “Electile Dysfunction.”
“How do I sound more Southern and blend in better?” asked the newcomer. Southern friend: Next trip to the store tell the clerk you want some nanners, maters, and taters.
Upon trying this technique the clerk replied, “…you’re not from around here are you?” Northern newcomer, puzzled, “…how did you know?” Clerk: You are in HOME DEPOT.
“The secret to management is to keep the guys who hate you from the undecided.” Casey Stengel.
Jake LaMotta claimed they we were so poor that one Christmas eve his Dad took his twelve gauge out into the back yard and fired off a round. Came in and declared,”…Santa committed suicide!”
One golfer said another was even tempered on the golf course: “He was an asshole the whole round.”

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