I’ve “earned my letter.”   And, thankfully I can play golf for fun.   Fun is the operative word.   Golf can be maddening.   Someone said “…golf is not a game, it’s a disease.”   Another suggested we make prisoners play.   I have felt like sitting down on the course and crying.  With the goal of making the game fun for us guys (not you “low to scratch” PLAYERS)  here a a few ideas:

– Upon my arrival home after a golf day, my wife asks “…how did you play”?   My answer is usually something like this: I played ok except for (pick one) a few bad holes, a triple bogey, one damn hole, etc.   My guess is a lot of hackers have admitted the same or similar summations.

– The big problem is MEDAL PLAY.   This requires you count all strokes on all holes.   MATCH PLAY allows you to play hole by hole, thus alleviating that lingering memory of the unwanted “snowman” or 8 on a par 5. I   guess being a tennis coach affects my thinking.    No matter how bad you are playing you still have a chance.   Where would you be without the second serve?

– Borrowing from education, why not “grade on the curve”, or throw out one bad hole (or one per side”).   Count it ( or them of your choice) a par, and move on.   I’m calling this game CULL/ THROWAWAY/DOTS   Someone told me there is a variation of this that has been played by others, trying to stroke their crushed egos…

Dots is a game for those of us who like bets.
1. Assign a monetary value to each “dot” (SAY 25 CENTS PER DOT) and dispense dots accordingly:
2. HOLEY:   You, or your team win that particular hole.
3. POLEY:   For a made putt longer than the flag pole.
4. GUACAMOLE:   Make par or better with a Hispanic worker in sight
5. NASCAR:   Par after hitting a cart path.
6. BIRDIE
7. SANDIE:   Make a par out of a sand trap
8. GREENIE:   Closest individual to the pin on par 3’s…(option: if no one is ON the green, then GREENIE goes to the closest to the pin)
9. BARKIE:   Par after hitting a tree.
10. FRINGIE:   Make any shot form off the green.
OPTIONS:
11. CARRYOVERS:   Bet (or HOLEY) continues if no one wins the hole…example: No one wins hole 1, hole 2 is worth two dots, etc.
12. EAGLES:   Four dots
13. Holes in one:   Ten dots
14. Doubles eagles:   Fifteen dots

MINUS DOTS:
1. Quitting:   Twenty dots
2. SNAKES:   Three putts or more–2 dots
3. UNFORCED WINDY (Swing an d miss the ball)
4. PECKER SHOT:   Failure to get to women’s tee
5. TRAP TO TRAP
6. GREEN ON WRONG HOLE
7. FLAG STICK:   Carry the flag off the green
8. LEAVE CLUB:   Must be after teeing off on next hole
9. NON EMERGENCY PHONE CALL
10. FORBIDDEN CLICHES:

• “…Every now and then a blind hog finds an acorn”, or anything close.
• “I pulled (pushed it)” on a short putt.
• Wimpy cussin
• “…Be the right stick”
• “Blew by you”

11. Being further away on your second putt
12. Back to back shanks
13. Hitting the wrong ball

PLEASE NOTE THERE ARE 13 OF THESE. GOOD LUCK WITH GEEZER GOLF