HIGH HANDICAPPER’S GOLF UPDATE

My 2014 New Year’s Eve Resolution  (see #1 below or blog 84) was not easy. I have tried more clubs designed for 2nd shots than the average golfer has putters.
Next I tried an alternate technique that worked in a new way. (see #2 below, or blog 108).
And then I figured a way to improve my scores by 5 shots. ( see #3 below, or blog 118),

(1) And that, “…one man, scorned and covered with scars–still strove with his last ounce of courage to reach ” (my words substituted) MY QUEST OF BEING ABLE TO HIT A DECENT
SECOND SHOT ON THE GOLF COURSE!!!

(2) February 4, 2015 by ethomasparham
THE SECRET TO ENJOYING PLAYING GOLF (108)

Gorgeous early February day at the beach. Decided to dust off the clubs. Star HILL Golf Club lot was full. Usual grim faced old timers in our group. I decided not to worry too much about my quality of play. Between #15 and #16 I had an epiphany! I realized it was an unusually beautiful winter day. And, that (1) I was playing OK.
I can’t advise anyone much about golf. At best I’m now hoping to get in a golf quote book. My secret to enjoying playing golf? Quote:
ESTABLISH FIRM AND UNUSUALLY LOW EXPECTATIONS FOR YOUR PERSONAL GAME!

(3) JPD* GOLF TEE BOX

* JUST PRIOR TO DEATH.

The JPD’ tee boxes are 400 yards closer. You have to be 80 to play JPD at our club. I have arbitrarily equated my golf age as 89. 75 in years plus 14 operations.

IMMEDIATE RESULTS SUMMARY:
1. Nobody cares 2. I don’t have to try to hit 220yd shots, 12 times a round. 3. It is easier. NOT EASY, STILL. 4. I can get on in regulation fairly often 5.It is much more fun.

OBVIOUS RELATED ITEMS:
Golf should feature “Ability Tees”, not age, sex, etc. Play from where your ability allows you to have fun. Some folks are old at 20. Some not so at 70.
Four tees for men, one for women? Sorenstam,etc. from the same tee as a 10 year old girl, or begining woman?

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION–JANUARY 1, 2014

A friend of Mike Tyson’s  noticed the boxer’s new years eve resolutions listed “to quit smoking”.   “But, Mike,  you don’t smoke” he questioned.   Mike said “… you need some easy ones on your list.”

Today is January 1, 2014.  I have one resolution for this year,  but it is not an easy one.  I have leaned on the song,  MY QUEST for lyrics that describe my concerns:

“an impossible dream”

“an undefeatable foe”

“unbearable sorrow”

“arms too weary”

“no matter how helpless””march into hell”

In hope that one day , “,,,my heart will lie peaceful and calm, when I am laid to rest”

And that, “…one man, scorned and covered with scars–still strove with his last ounce of courage to reach ”  (my words substituted) MY QUEST OF BEING ABLE TO HIT A DECENT SECOND SHOT ON THE GOLF COURSE!!!

P.s.  If “mulligans”  are allowed as a local rule,  that rule should include allowing the player to defer their mulligan to that damned second shot.

THE SECRET TO ENJOYING PLAYING GOLF

Gorgeous early February day at the beach. Decided to dust off the clubs. Star HILL Golf Club lot was full. Usual grim faced old timers in our group. I decided not to worry too much about my quality of play. Between #15 and #16 I an epiphany! I realized it was an unusually beautiful winter day. And, that (1) I was playing OK.
I can’t advise anyone much about golf. At best I’m now hoping to get in a golf quote book. My secret to enjoying playing golf? Quote:
ESTABLISH FIRM AND UNUSUALLY LOW EXPECTATIONS FOR YOUR PERSONAL GAME!

Trustworthy Tools

NAMING HIGH HANDICAPPER’S GOLF CLUBS:   Many golfers have given pet names to their golf clubs.   Most are people happy with the club.   Here are the names I have chosen for mine:

SCHIZOPHRENIC (the driver),
THE INFIDEL ( 3 wood),
BLUE MOON (5 wood),
AWOL (5 iron),
NEIL YOUNG, whose nickname is “shaky”–6iron,
ONCE (7iron),
CUR (a stray dog) is the 8 iron

I use three clubs as wedges:  The 9 iron, the pitching wedge, and the sand wedge.   Their names in order are HAPLESS, HOPELESS, and HELPLESS.  My putter I call CRENSHAW, in the name of sarcasm. ..There, you traitorous fourteen villians, I feel better.

FEDERER AND ” THE HACKALOOSKI”

The forehand Roger Federer hit on the second match point in the US OPEN quarter finals was stunning. About like a golfer hitting a 3 iron 225 yards into an 8 ounce paper cup. For the Masters title! This man is a gift, in any number of ways. Tennis and life!
Number 25 of my articles, Hackalooski, defines a poor golfer telling a good golfer how to play. Article 9 (Tennis Tactics: The Circle Stinger) suggests that Nadal’s ripping, left-handed, topspin forehand, hit from within the “circle”, gave him a play that even the world’s greatest player couldn’t withstand. Both Rafa and Roger knew that this “laser”, relentlessly hammered at even a great backhand, is deadly.
Mickey Lolich was a great Detroit pitcher. When asked why his yearly win/loss records changed drastically for the better (from about 18/17 to like 24/6) he replied “…I learned how to win when I didn’t have my BEST STUFF”. There are days when singles tennis players are like “singular” pitchers. This appeared to be true with FED in both the quarters and semis. Admirably, when asked to explain his remarkable improved recent play, he did not excuse his earlier play as affected by a back injury. He could have.
With the greatest respect for this man, I do have a HACKALOOSKI. One hears all kinds of theories on “big points”, “break points”, etc. As a college coach one of the “points” I stressed were “ahead points” “The hardest time to play is when you are ahead”. College kids had the flaw of poor focus, particularly on 40-15 and 30-love points. The same is true of being up a break. Killer instinct sounds evil, but not in tennis. When college doubles changed to an 8-game pro set, we all watched in amazement at game leads of 7 to 4 and 6 to 3, that were frittered away.
HERE IS THE HARD PART. I think Fed plays these situations and points somewhat loosely. If there are statistics available on his playing of these points, I would bet his percentages would be less on these points.
Particularly in tight matches.
The game is evolving. In earlier articles I have noted some observations: The JOKER’S great groundstrokes can keep Rafa out of his “circle”, 2. Dropshots are more and more common and successful (but not against Monfils), and 3. There were all kinds of 2014 US OPEN matches that exhibited the evolving ability of men and women to hit quality groundstrokes with wide open pace, on or near the line. Kei Nishikori against Warinka and Djokivic. Nuff said!

Letter to the USGA

USGA
77 Liberty Corner Road
PO Box 708
Far Hills, NJ 07931-0708

Attention: Marcia Luiges (Women’s Committee)

Having coached tennis for forty years, and being a high handicap golfer, I tend to compare the two games. My wish is to offer some hopefully constructive criticism to golf.

Suggestion one: Confront your two biggest problems, someone in front of you and someone behind you. The ability of players and the difficultly of the course are the main variables in delaying someone or waiting for someone. Europeans require certification of ability to play. Yet in America, we have one hundred plus scorers teeing up from “the tips”. Shouldn’t people play further up to play faster?

Why not? For example, if you shoot a certain certified score, you play from that tee. Many average males could play from the senior tees and still shoot 110. Why do men have 3 or 4 tee positions and women only 1? Shouldn’t pro women play from different tees than beginning women? Having a foursome of different teeing starts will take little extra time comparatively. Maybe golf shouldn’t have “seniors” or “women’s” tees at all but tees determined by ability.

From what I have heard, many golf courses are struggling to make it financially. Maybe this is why so many rangers are hesitant to confront slow players. My guess is the opposite; if the pace were better controlled, business would pick up.

Speaking of golf’s other struggle, finances, perhaps more “women-friendly” courses would be helpful. Who better than women to grow the number of paying customers during the week. Yet it appears that golf shoots itself in the foot when it comes to encouraging women’s play. Women’s college golf is begging for competent women players. Scholarships are waiting due to Title IX. When the “macho” guys complain about women, it runs them off. Many women are self-conscious about having people wait, particularly if they are forced to play from unrealistic tees. Private, public and municipal facilities might well create a real booming market for women by:

1. Encouraging them
2. Teaching them
3. Designing women-friendly courses
4. Blocking time periods for play and instruction

Anyone in the American Tennis scene in the last thirty years has watched women grow their tennis population at an amazing pace.  In the Southern US, Atlanta, Georgia started a tremendous boom in women’s league play. ALTA (Atlanta’s League Tennis Association) formed teams of women at different levels of play. That has blossomed at a rate and quality that one could hardly imagine. One of their strokes of genius was to attach USTA (United States Tennis Association) membership to league play eligibility. This had a tremendous impact on national level membership and provided substantial funding and influence. Another significant by-product of league play was the influx of dedicated and qualified women into leadership roles in tennis. This bled over into areas other than league play as well such as administration, junior tennis, state, district and national influence, etc.

In conclusion: Ability tees will speed up play. Golf should hammer out the details, for example:

Possible Golf Course Design:
No Men’s, Women’s or Senior tees. Six Ability tees. Players play from where their         handicaps qualify them to play.

Tee            Par 3 (yards)               Par 4            Par 5
1.                     200                           400                525
2.                     120                           350                490
3.                     140                           325                465
4.                     110                            300                400
5.                    100                            275                 370
6.                     90                              250                320

First, Second and Third Approximate Shots (yards)

Par 3, as above

Par 4                         Par 5
1. (300-100)        1. (300-160-65)

2. (240-110)        2. (240-150-100)

3. (210-115)         3. (210-150-105)

4. (180-120)         4. (180-120-80)

5. (150-125)         5. (150-125-75)

6. (125-125)         6. (125-100-95)

Couldn’t current courses redesign themselves to fairly standard and friendly tee distances? (see chart above)

Couldn’t golf “meccas” like Myrtle Beach, Florida and California not design a course more inclusive of compatible to women? (see chart above) If there are 100 for men in an area, why not one for women?

In the future, why not design courses with women in mind? (see chart above)

My guess is that this kind of thinking has been kicked around among your organization. I have no “axe to grind”. You may use or disregard this letter any way you see fit.

“And if you play golf, you are my friend.”
-Harvey Penick

Sincerely,

Tom Parham

WHEN I PAINT MY MASTERPIECE

As a career coach I picked up a lot of tennis balls. Frequently I wondered about “a better mousetrap”. The ball rack was the first common solution, then the tubes. A bunch of campers picking them up for you isn’t a bad idea. But you have to put up with some complaining.
I often thought I could design a teaching court with a series of angled boards (or the like). Pop the ball up at the slightly inclined board till it drops the balls off into an ally, one half declining downhill to the left, the other half to the right. A container in a hole below ground level collects the balls, which you lift and pour into your shopping cart. High tech worries? Nope, unless gravity goes awry.
Somebody beat me to the next one: A slower moving ball. No-brainer for youngsters. As a matter of fact, you can take it further and use balloons. Children at a very young age can learn to track a balloon. And with  practice, they can learn tactile hand usage and learning to bend their arms while collecting the slow moving toy. Careful, though, with balloons and little ones.
I really feel like I mishandled The SENOR. This was a simple tee shirt designed with various food residue spottings, strategically located on the shirt. While the standard Senor would feature mustard, catsup, coffee stains, beer splotches, pizza drippings etc., there would be room for creativity, ethnic venues, and so on. How bout the Mexican (salsa, quacamole, chips, bean drippings). the Italian with spaghetti dangles, oil and vinegar, three wine spots, burp-ups, and such. The French, the Afro, even the veggie. With a label  advising, “no wash, no worry.”

Golf got me thinking.  That distance to the bottom of the hole after a rare made putt got shortened by the putter suction  cup.  Wish I’da  done that one.  What pride.

Toughest part of the golf day?  Getting my left sock on.  I dealt with shoe tying with  velcro shoe “laces”.  Miami here I come.   Pedicure for the toenails around the corner?

Don’t tell about the next one.  Duck Dynasty’s Si Robertson gets the next call.  A  blend between  a child’s clicker toy and Si fine tuning a device, hidden of course, that sounds like a golf ball going into the cup.   Then, the circumstances perfect (or, the others not close by or where they see, yet hear—the “putt clicker”.  Followed by the old coach shouting,”…damn, I knocked in another gagger!” Nirvana.

If I could pull that off just one time, that may be my masterpiece.

But The Senor wasn’t bad.

 

 

“GOLFIRMATIONS”

“Golf is like faith:  it is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”  (Arnold Haultain quoted in GOLFIRMATIONS– a book by Hugh O’Neil).

‘”…new putters have a way of quickly finding out who’s holding them.”

“…never bet anyone with a deep tan but whose left hand is  the color of mayonnaise.”

 

I never knew about the tricky putt Jack Nicklaus gave Tony Jacklin in the1969 Ryder Cup. Or WHY?

 

Or about why Curtis Strange played at the Inverrary Classic with only four clubs (page 41).

 

Verse One from THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE HIGH HANDICAPPER:

“Mine eyes have seen the glory of some drive so straight and true,

And I’ve endured a botched up bunker-shot

that stopped atop my shoe.

I have triumphed.  I have staggered.  I have foozled quite a few.

My handicap won’t go down.”   ****VERSES FOLLOW (pages 14, 15)

 

 

 

PICKLEBALL

A dog named Pickle chased the ball. So the founders named it “Pickleball.” I doubt if they had any idea it would become this big. Goggle it, if it hasn’t gotten to your area yet. It is coming.
Soon. Particularly if you live in a retirement area, or where it is warm, or near the beach. One facility in Florida features 104 courts specifically for Pickleball. They are packed, dawn to dusk.
As a “tennis person” I hear the grumbles. Much like the football people were (some still are) about soccer. Takes their people, business, fans.
I recently convinced our retirement community to line off two tennis courts with Pickleball boundaries. Easy, inexpensive. I can hear play from my kitchen window at those courts. Pickleballs make a louder sound. I’m hearing that sound a lot recently. I went there last week when I heard them playing. I inadvertently heard one player tell another, “…that’s the old coach who got them to line these courts!”
Funny what you become. At Elon University I convinced the school to dye a campus lake that was, well, just brown. At first they called the new color “tidy bowl”. Soon it was praised. Did the same thing at Wofford College, simply mentioning the weak beer-colored entrance lake there to then Athletics Director, Danny Morrison.
“The man who dyed the lakes”. “The man who brought us Pickleball!” Positive up to now?
Forty years ago as the director of a local junior tennis tournament I backed my van over the trophies. Coincidental, but girls only. Little skirts and breasts everywhere. Still today some middle aged woman is apt to bark at me: You are the guy who ran over our trophies! Male chauvinist pig was popular among 12 years old then.
When I moved to that town there were 5 tennis courts in the town. Twenty years later there were seventy four. At one point there were forty ranked juniors from that village. Now there are none. During that time Cary, NC featured no ranked juniors. Now there are nearly 100. What a community tennis effort by that city.
My tenure at Elon in Alamance County in NC was blessed with the new friendship of Jim Toney. There are “tennis angels”, living and dead. Jim just changed courts. Over twenty years there were some 3 million dollars worth of tennis facilities built throughout the county. From schools to clubs, indoor and out. Good job, Toney.
The University’s tennis center, The Jimmy Powell Tennis Center, became the blue print for a dozen new arenas in the southeast. And dictated that they were built in a much more attractive and functional way. A man leaves his mark. Or, in the words of the great philosopher, Pogo, “…it happened during my administration.”
An established church my friends help found, just closed. They got down to eleven members, one who still worked. Churches are struggling. Country clubs, and golf courses. The kids have had to move away to get jobs. Sunday fried chicken after church? Civic clubs, and on and on.
Things change. I fear for tennis. High schools and juniors striving for excellence. “I can play tennis on a video game and not have to run”, Oh yeah?
Tennis saved itself with the development of the league players; frankly, led by women. Golf can’t seem to understand that development of women and children’s play may be the only wise business choice. A “fun” course, or modified easier course, a course for women that the average woman can enjoy without listening to the dying throng gripe about them spending being “in the way.”
“Adapt or perish” true today? Is hard work passe for the masses.
The truth is tennis IS a lifetime game. For many. My friend had a tee shirt that said,”…if you ain’t got a limp you ain’t done nothing”. Lot of old time tennis people have kept the bone doctors hopping. The reasons for this new tennis-like game’s success are manifold: Easy to learn, inexpensive, no lessons needed, kids learn to play in 30 minutes, courts are easy to build. But the best of all is the value to the AARP crowd. Older people can stay active much longer. The workout is strenuous, but restricted movement will yield longevity that doesn’t cause the joint damage of tennis, jogging, and other activities.

Here’s a thought for young turks who want to work and make some money. Any condo developer will put a minimum of two tennis courts on his property. Has to. Why? Because the competition has as least two.
You ride by them daily. And no one is playing on them. Owners don’t keep them up. How about this: Learn how to line a Pickleball court on those two virgin courts. Go from hell to Dixie convincing owners to stripe them. Put some pickleball rackets and balls (they are inexpensive) and leave them at the courts. Get some volunteers who know how to play on your courts at prime times and watch. “If you build it they will come”.
PLAY IS WHERE LIFE IS.
Burn all the health books. Diet and Exercise, nuff said. Tennis? Fine, but don’t knock anything that keeps you going.
One of many conversations with Mr. Toney ended with him looking me in the eye and saying, DON’T YOU QUIT.