Your kids don’t want your “stuff ” ( See George Carlin ). I only owned two pairs of dress shoes in my life–Johnson and Murphy tassle loafers. One truly observant Alumni noticed them after twenty years : “Coach, is that the same pair of shoes you wore in 1970?” Bullseye.
Cleaning out my “stuff” yesterday I noticed the surviving J&M’s. Pair 2 has a quarter sized sole hole. The “Shoe Nazi ” in Burlington, NC estimated repair at more than I paid for them. One of my offspring wears the same size shoe. Don’t even ask.
There is precedent .
My apartment was broken into in 1968. The front and back doors were left wide open. It didn’t take long to inventory my posessions : Nothing was deemed worthy of stealing.
SO—-THE JUKE BOX ( Below is from PLAY IS WHERE LIFE IS by TP).
NOTE—While tempermental, this ” ancient ” (71 years old ) 1954 classic still will blast 45’s worthy of neighborhood complaints.
While a professed “Minimumalist”, the College gladly accepted my considerable Bob Dylan collection.
Upon retiring I asked wife-type, Margaret , WHERE? Answer–BEACH! We both liked the shore and she grew up on Lake Huron. She reasoned “…yes, but mainly I know the kids will visit us there. And eventually bring my grandchildren to me. “
The Raleigh family and the Boulder family were here last week. Somehow we have retained the tradition of family meals together. And , for a while, the young ones remain for after dinner conversations. The oldest grandchild had just graduated from Boulder High School, and while I was unable to attend, I watched via ZOOM.
I commented that the speaker made a fine talk. Then someone asked who spoke at my college graduation? I do remember the speaker’s name and title. Yet I had to admit being among the “overserved RWL ” –participants common to college students the night before graduation. Or, I was hungover from RUN. WALK. LAY DOWN booze.
Sitting on the aisle seat I began to drift. Proximity classmates later laughed about the snoring
The tassle on the “mortar board “was put into motion as my own snoring whiplashed me semi conscious. I thought the tassle was someone trying to enter our aisle and knocked the “funny hat” into the next row.
That was it. My classmates who witnessed this scene and sounds could hold on no longer. Raucus laughter erupted from our area —and the unnamed speaker stopped, wondering what was funny about what he had just said?
Margaret is self effacing but I guess she felt the need to offset my confession. Asked about her rememberances- she told of being the class speaker at her graduation from nurses training . When some one asked what she talked about she said, “from MARKINGS by Dag Hammarskjold : Goodness is something so simple…Always to live for others, never to seek ones own advantage”.
Son Dan was next. After saying that no one in class could remember anything but the theme the speaker chose –CHAWSIS. “You are going to have to make some CHAWSIS ( Choices)” . Dan said “…thirty years later his class mates still remember.
On a very serious note—This speaker should have the stage now. SAPIENS by Yuval Harari got a lot of attention years back. Followed up by HOMO DEUS, I have followed him as best I could. Now NEXUS is out and I am trying to grasp his prescient admonitions. Two things jumped out at me: 1. This book is deeper and tougher to absorb. 2. He is less optimistic now and is telling us why.
Artificial Inteligence has a very dangerous potential. We must prioritize the choices we must make.
From a review of NEXUS:
For the last 100,000 years, we Sapiens have accumulated enormous power. But despite all our discoveries, inventions, and conquests, we now find ourselves in an existential crisis. The world is on the verge of ecological collapse. Misinformation abounds. And we are rushing headlong into the age of AI–a new information network that threatens to annihilate us. For all that we have accomplished, why are we so self-destructive?
Time to vote!
Chawsis !
“Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can” (John Wesley )
Upon retiring I committed myself to continuing efforts to help tennis players , coaches, and teams. My friend, Jim Toney, and I focused on our local facilities. Then coaches. Frankly, emphasis has been on on the high school level although much extends both up and down levels.
I wrote a guide entitled THE LITTLE GREEN BOOK of TENNIS which was provided freely to all North Carolina coaches and varsity girls and boys players.
Next we formed a group of capable volunteers we called the SHOT DOCTORS (see brochure ) who lent their time and expertise, particulary to their local schools. Soon the NORTH CAROLINA HIGH SCHOOL TENNIS COACHES ASSOCIATION ( NCHSTCA ) became our primary outlet. Included on their new website they created a panel entitled RESOURCES. Membership gave access to exclusive SHOT DOCTORS contributions.
Things change. Certainly tennis does. And while the NCHSTCA website hosts reems of this new information, space dictates limitations.
My intent is to ” leave it all on the court”. This MILESTONES blog is an effort to make more and new instruction available since the book was written and revised (2015 ). And I have selected some repeats, that were most often cited as helpful. THE REST OF THE STORY hopefully shines light the two seismic moments — 1. New technology and data and the truth about international athletes in American colleges (College tennis particularly—-and 2. The upheaval surounding paying athletes ( PORTALS AND POTHOLES ).
Is this not the moment to redesign more reasonable governance of AMERICAN COLLEGE ATHLETICS.
The REST OF THE STORY is VERY LONG. A condensed version is available here. So, too , is the subsequent file, HELPING PART 2 , extremely long and detailed. They are included as evidence of the long these deep seated problems have gone on.
TWO CLOSING COMMENTS: 1. While my “hobby writing” began with my retirment and centers on tennis instruction and sports commentary, there are articles on everything from Bob Dylan to Pickleball . Search the CATEGORIES column ( far right ) on the blog cover page. 2. I plan to keep the blog open and writing short pieces. There is a lot to clean up , edit, categorize.
“Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now”. (Bob Dylan–MISSISSIPPI )
SHOT DOCTORS The brochure below is an announcement of a new, non- profit group of volunteers to help North Carolina’s high school varsity boys and girl tennis players, their coaches and teams.
It is new leaf time for me. It’s not the writing. Technology wins. Too many unknown buttons. Too much angst, frustration, begging for help, same errors and “can’t finds .” Good luck, AI.
Below are a series of NEW articles available freely. In addition, a second group of selected OLDER articles are included later , as they are some of the best articles on the blog:
Below is a letter to me that states the position of NCAA President Mark A. Emmert on international athletes in American college athletics. And I agree with the content. However, I believe there is another tenable side to this issue. Therefore, in addition to President Emmert letter, I have shared what I believe is another salient side to the issue.
Dr. Mark Emmert President, NCAA PO Box 6222 Indianapolis, Indiana 46206
Dear Dr. Emmert,
I am appreciative of your letter of March 15, 2017. Earlier this winter I had a long conversation with Timothy Russell , CEO of the Intercollegiate Tennis Association (ITA). I have also pled my case to Paul Lubbers of USTA player development, the Southern district of USTA, (STA) and the North Carolina Tennis Association (NCTA).
And have done so with countless others since 1970. Your response ensures that I have been heard at our highest levels and that is truly fair.
Approaching age 77 with fifty years of coaching, teaching and administering in two small (Barton College) to mid size Division 1 (Elon University), I have watched this issue closely, and while I fully agree with diversity and inclusion and equitable participation, there seems to be more to the issue.
My teams rosters included fifty plus internationals. From about a dozen different countries. Roland Thornqvist, women’s tennis coach at the University of Florida just won the women’s D1 National team tennis indoor title, owning a handful of national titles. I recruited Roland to the USA and he is probably best known of my recruits who are in the athletics arena and have stayed in the country. No less known in the world of orthopedic surgery in America is Dr. Pramote Malisitt, a native of Bangkok, who remains in our country. Dr. Peter Lindstrom, is one of twenty nine Swedes whom I recruited, and who is nationally known as a vital computer expert with our defense department. Neither our schools, nation, nor I would wish they weren’t here.
Never have I suggested we shouldn’t have delved into internationals then or now. But it seems to me to be a half full/half empty issue. Not once have I ever said an international should be prohibited from participation. Or equal admittance. The elephant in the room is scholarships. Never have I suggested internationals should be exempt from a reasonable amount of money. I do believe that the NCAA has a legal right to provide aid to our citizens first. One link to follow allows that about 200 million American dollars go into international men and women tennis players.
Many parents and taxpayers question all foreign rosters, all with grants and many from state schools. (See enclosed latest rankings from Division II) I wouldn’t object to an all international team in any sport if they paid the bill. But to scholarship an all African team, rather than an African American team is bothersome, to say the least. What we have now is foreign aid, not trade. Not once in the many times I asked any international , “Would your native country do what we do?” was the answer yes. And the money is coming from the coffers of the only reasonable financial return for all the expenses encountered: Scholarships. Scholarships can easily amount to a quarter million dollars per student ,over four years. Not to mention the subsequent benefits of quality education. I don’t even mention the rarity of professional player rewards, as we all know the status of American elite players. That is another issue, but giving American college tennis to internationals via disproportionate scholarship is directly related to this demise (again link to follow).
Basketball, golf, and other international sports are making forays into the American college arena. As a young coach I quickly realized if they have a nuclear weapon or two, I had better find some to help me keep my job. This is true today. Witness Duke University’s meteoric rise in Women’s golf. Surely young coaches watched an all international roster ascend to the top. Is this the intent of Title IX for our women? The American college system is the best system in the world to train elite athletes. The best example is surely Women’s Soccer.
Soccer, the most widely played sport in the world ,has never been won by American men. Yet, since the advent of Title IX our women have won three world cups in soccer. All twenty three women were participants in American College Soccer. And I’d bet they all had scholarships. Some one asked me where was the national training center for women on the world cup team? Chapel Hill, I replied. (Anson Dorance’s UNC teams had six of the twenty three players). And his teams influenced all the rest.
Upon accepting the job at Elon University, the then president admonished me, “… we don’t want an all foreign team!” After ten years that included a national team championship, I was concerned that a walk-on international was good enough to shift our team balance to more than 50% international for the first time. A decided shift in attitude was “ Coach we’ve decided that we don’t care where they are from if they are the quality of people you’ve been recruiting.”
And, while this validates your position, I believe a compromise is the answer.
My internationals returned home at about a 90% rate. That money may have brought in any number of our own citizens, equal in every way, except talent in tennis, as a true 18 year old freshman . (see DAY DREAM BELIEVER) on addendum to follow. Without scholarship aid for many American tennis youngsters, the “…pathway to opportunity” does not currently exist.
I have shared a few opinions, mine and others, on Addendum 1.
I intend to include a copy of your letter, and valid position to several interested parties. Knowing I have had my say, I remain sincerely grateful.
Tom Parham
“THE REST OF THE STORY” CONDENSED (Dan Parham and AI)
College Tennis in Crisis: A Briefing on the Dominance of International Players and the Impact on American Athletes This briefing document analyzes the provided sources, revealing a concerning trend in American collegiate tennis: the overwhelming dominance of international players, particularly in scholarship-funded positions and top-ranked teams. The main argument is that this phenomenon has detrimental consequences for American tennis players, limiting their opportunities for college scholarships, high-level competition, and professional development.
Key Themes and Facts: International Player Dominance: Data compiled across multiple NCAA divisions shows that international players constitute a significant majority of players in top-ranked teams and occupy most scholarship positions. This trend is evident in both men’s and women’s tennis. For instance, an analysis of randomly selected top-ranked teams across six divisions in the 2024 season revealed that 92% of the players were international. Limited Opportunities for American Players: The high proportion of international players in college tennis directly limits the number of roster spots and scholarships available to American athletes. This is especially alarming considering the financial burden of developing high-level tennis players in the US, where, unlike in Europe and Asia, government support is lacking. Financial Incentives for Coaches: The current system incentivizes college coaches to prioritize recruiting international players, often overlooking talented American players. This is driven by the pressure to maintain high rankings and achieve winning records, often at the expense of developing American talent. The “Preferred Walk-on” Dilemma: While some American players manage to secure spots on teams as “preferred walk-ons,” this designation often comes with little to no financial aid. This further disadvantages American players compared to their international counterparts who often receive full scholarships.
Supporting Evidence (Quotes and Data): “The NCAA is also to be blamed for not keeping tennis-specific numbers. It is impossible to find out how many international players take roster spots, scholarships or graduate from college.” – Tennis World, August 5, 1999. “In the final match, no American player participated… Americans received less than 5% of the total tennis scholarships awarded.” – Description of the 2001 Big South Conference men’s tennis tournament “Let’s be honest …College tennis is failing American tennis. “ – Luke Jensen, former professional tennis player. “There’s somewhere around 7,000 scholarships available… and there are just not enough American juniors to fill the scholarships.” – Tim Russell, CEO of the Intercollegiate Tennis Association.
Consequences and Concerns: Diminishing American Tennis: The lack of college playing opportunities for American athletes negatively impacts the development of future American tennis stars. This is evidenced by the dwindling number of American players in professional tennis with college experience. Loss of Fan Interest and Support: Teams dominated by international players may face challenges in attracting local fan interest and alumni support. The lack of “homegrown” talent can lead to a disconnect between college teams and their communities. Ethical Considerations: Concerns arise regarding the ethical implications of allocating taxpayer-funded scholarships predominantly to international students, while talented American students are left behind.
Potential Solutions: Scholarship Allocation for American Players: A significant proposal is to reserve a certain percentage of scholarship funds for American players, ensuring they have a fair chance to compete and develop at the collegiate level. Increased Support for High School Tennis: Strengthening high school tennis programs can help cultivate a stronger base of American players and provide them with the necessary experience to compete for college scholarships. Data Transparency and Advocacy: Collecting and analyzing data on the nationality of college tennis players, scholarship recipients, and award winners can raise awareness and encourage action from the USTA, NCAA, and other relevant organizations.
Conclusion: The current landscape of American collegiate tennis presents a significant challenge to the development of American players. The dominance of international players in scholarship-funded positions creates an uneven playing field, hindering the growth of future generations of American tennis stars. Addressing this issue requires a concerted effort from the USTA, NCAA, college coaches, and all stakeholders who are passionate about American tennis. Proactive measures such as scholarship allocation for American players, increased support for high school tennis, and data transparency are crucial steps towards a more equitable and sustainable future for the sport.
HEADS UP
August 5th, 1999 From TENNIS WORLD by Beth German: “The NCAA is also to be blamed for not keeping tennis specific numbers. It is impossible to find out how many international players take roster spots, scholarships or Graduate from college.”
ITA Website, Rankings Data & Nationality
Stunning: In 1970 the National Association of Athletics (NAIA) voted to eliminate restrictions on foreign tennis players. The issue was largely a small college concern, NAIA, NCAA 2, Junior Colleges men and women. From 1970 to 1980 teams went from a maximum of one international player to all six starters being international. A report below from the NCAA sites statistics from the year of 2007 that doesn’t reflect the more important issue. The NCAA report included all the division 3 schools that don’t offer tennis scholarships, plus the total number of teams are included —many of whom don’t recruit anybody. The intensity of the situation for the big schools came later in the ’80’s and 90’s. The NCAA, the ITA and the UTR are good sources of data on college tennis. The best of these is the Intercollegiate Tennis Association. Their website allows you to reach every team, its roster, its schedule, & the national origin of the players. In contrast to the mid ’80’s you can now easily find the nationality and the possibility of scholarship players.
In 1985 I painstakingly uncovered that one 8 team conference had 63 players in the total league, 62 of whom were international. While that took me hours to uncover, that kind of information can be found easily now by researching teams on the ITA website. Check the ranking file, check the roster, and check the schedule for close matches, and the stunning picture is revealed easily.
We randomly picked the 1st, 5th, 10th and 20th ranked teams from each division men and women.
The results speak volumes and suggest any teams picked in each division would show very similar results.
DIVISION 1 MEN’S SINGLES INTERNATIONAL:
Rank 1 Texas Christian University 9 of 9
Rank 5 Kentucky 7 of 8
Rank 10 Florida State 6 of 8
Rank 20 Arizona State 5 of 8
27 of 33 = 87 %
DIVISION 1 WOMEN’S SINGLES:
Rank 1 Texas A & M 3 of 6
Rank 5 Michigan 2 of 6
Rank 10 Cal Berkley 4 of 7
Rank 20 South Carolina 4 of 7
12 of 22 = 54 %
DIVISION 11 MEN’S SINGLES:
Rank 1 Valdosta State 9 of 9
Rank 5 Columbus State 8 of 8
Rank 10 Wingate 8 of 8
Rank 20 Hawaii Pacific 9 of 9
34 of 34 = 100 %
DIVISION 11 WOMEN’S SINGLES:
Rank 1 Nova Southeastern 8 of 8
Rank 5 Emory Riddle 7 of 7
Rank 10 Auburn Montgomery 7 of 7
Rank 20 Mississippi College 6 of 9
26 of 29 = 90 %
NAIA MEN:
Rank 1 Georgia Gwinnett 7 of 8
Rank 5 Reinhardt 6 of 8
Rank 10 Grace 7 of 8
Rank 20 Cumberland (Tenn) 8 of 8
28 of 32 = 90%
NAIA WOMEN:
Rank 1 Georgia Gwinnett 8 of 8
Rank 5 Middle Georgia State 7 of 8
Rank 10 Union 7 of 8
Rank 20 Northeastern Ohio 7 of 8
29 of 32 = 91 %
TOTAL ALL 6 DIVISIONS
156 of 178 (92%) were International
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PROBABILITIES
Win or NFL means “…Not For Long !” (Hank Stram , Coach )
Coaching’s Pox. Winning rules.
2. The best players win—-probably.
3. “ I just rob banks. That’s where the money is !” (Willie Sutton )
Global sports produce a much greater pool than just the USA, or the South, or North
Carolina.
4. Coaches will play the best players.
5. The players who make up the lineup in close, competitive matches ( 4/3 , 5/2 ) will be those with scholarships. Check the rosters and schedules ( “Results”. or “Box Scores”. )
WHY DO IT? ( Jim Toney, late Economics Professor at Elon University and tennis angel )… A fine player and promoter of tennis, Mr. Toney and I zeroed in on High School tennis court construction. Later in his life he developed Parkinson’s. During our last conversation I told how much I appreciated the work he had done for tennis. He leaned forward, peering at me with those steely eyes, and said ” Don’t you quit.”)
RECENT COMMENTS
Harvey Penick—THE LITTLE RED BOOK of GOLF author). “If you read this book you are my pupil. If you play golf you are my friend. “
Robert Bayliss
This is a difficult conundrum. On one hand, having an international player on your team can be a culturally broadening experience for all, as we learn about the history ad culture of others.To deny opportunities to “foreigners” seems unfair. Looking at this from a different angle provides a warning for our sport. One of the incentives driving young players into tennis is the goal of playing on a college team. The travel, life lessons learned, and so much more can provide motivation to commit to tennis in the hopes of gaining a scholarship, roster spot, admissions bump, and more might be exactly what keeps young players involved and committed to tennis. To forfeit that incentive will diminish; ish the number of players and the overall interest and importance of tennis to young Americans. The growth of soccer, lacrosse, and other sports is already eroding tennis’s base, so adding to that problem is problematic.
Looking long-range at this, I believe that we should be careful not to load up our college rosters – and the benefits thereof – with an overwhelming number of international players. Alumni interest and support are also a consideration.
In today’s world of collegiate athletics, coaches are fired for performance at increasingly higher rates. If I lose matches to teams stacked with international players there is the possibility that I might similarly load up my own roster internationally. The domino effect would be disastrous for American tennis This is balanced against the competitive benefit for American players as they compete against outstanding foreigners. While rushing to judgment should be avoided, we cannot continue to ignore anything that threatens the strength and significance of American tennis. The time for action is now.
Respectfully
Bobby Bayliss
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Charles Hassell:
“Tom-
Those are interesting questions but I confess ignorance in this area. I could be wrong but I believe colleges can award scholarships to anyone they please, particularly private schools, subject to eligibility requirement imposed by the schools, athletic conferences, and maybe the NCAA- at least for the time being. I don’t think that organization will be around much longer, at least not in its present form and with the current level of control we have seen up to now. I do not know what we will end up with but the myth of amateurism has clearly been exposed. And, of course, public colleges and universities have limitations peculiar to the schools and the laws of the respective states in which they reside.
To the extent that your questions ask what “should” be done, as in what is most fair, what is best for tennis, best for the young athletes, and do all agree it is desirable to favor U.S. kids? Is it a question of trying to prevent coaches from recruiting the best players regardless of their nationality? Is that a desirable aim? I don’t know enough about any of these problems as they relate to tennis to offer a useful opinion. Sorry.
We had a great show last Sunday after a brief shaky start from a quick cloudburst. Big crowd who seemed to like the music. Wish you could have been there.
-Pud”
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James Haslam:
“A FOREIGN PLAYER’S VIEW ON CAPPING SCHOLARSHIPS FOR FOREIGNERS
I am from Tasmania, Australia and received a full tennis scholarship to Wake Forest University commencing Feb 1969. It was the biggest and best break of my life and I am very thankful to the ‘system’ that made it possible, and to Wake coach Jim Leighton, who not only was a marvelous man and tennis teacher, but, when I fell in love with teaching tennis, taught me how to teach the game, despite that being at the expense of my playing for him.
I have keenly followed the evolution of NCAA sports, in particular college tennis. I fully support the rights of college athletes to sell their services to the highest bidder, or in individual sports to earn and keep whatever prize money and endorsements they can. I believe a college athlete earning money in professional sports brings glory and recognition to the college and enhances alumni and donor contributions to the school, athletic & tennis programs.
I believe it may take a decade for the rules and regulations relating to NIL, transfers, athlete payments, to reach an equitable status. It has eliminated some of the hypocrisy of the NCAA.
I also believe that American education (part funded by American taxpayers) should first and foremost be for the benefit of American students. Also part of that education and college experience comes from intermixing with students from all over the world…that America in general has lately drifted too far towards isolationism.
College athletics should also be first and foremost for the benefit of American students.
I note that my sport, tennis, has the highest % of foreign scholarship athletes of any sport.
To reconcile the competing interests, I suggest that 50% of all tennis scholarships be reserved for American athletes. That the number of scholarships in tennis (whether athletic or need or whatever) be either 10 or 12; meaning the number of foreigners on scholarship be 5 or 6. A team or squad can be larger, but any extra spots go to Americans. A foreigner marrying an American after arrival and gaining American citizenship would, for the purpose of the scholarship cap, be classified as a foreigner.
I accept that some coaches will find loopholes in any system, will break any rule they think they can get away with, but it is the role of the governing bodies (ITA, NCAA, US Govt) to close loopholes and penalize rule breakers.
I have spent the past 26 years in retirement as a volunteer donating my time (50-60 hours per week) to tennis, about equally between Tasmania and North Carolina. The NC time is partially as thanks for the opportunities the US and Wake Forest afforded me, and partially for the American people who helped me along the way.
Sincerely
James G Haslam”
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Dan Parham – A Proposal to Invest in American Tennis:
My job involved a lot of talking and listening. Lot of games , watching a ball bounce. And athletics award banquets. The links at the bottom are some observations about facilitating those “Awards Banquets”. The problem is the talks take too long.
Recently I witnessed a time saver. The Master of Ceremonies concluded that , being a college event he assumed that all the accolades in the program could be read, so he would not repeat the accomplishments.
The links below address 1. Guidelines for controlling the event , and 2. A collection of talks that may provide levity and some unique approaches.
I would like to suggest 1. Directions to the bathroom and license to —-“go” 2. A pledge to abide by the alloted time 3. To tell my story in a unique , possible light, even humerous way. 4. TO FILL OUT THE CHECKLIST ON TIME!
What checklist? * The new checklist consists of perfunctifory comments, , even cliches . I will mail this to the school for the written program, understanding that checked items are things most often that are understood, redundant and time consuming
FOR PLAYERS:
I will not list every family member, friend, teammate I have known. Coaches either. Check ( )
2. Congratulate all the other inductees . ( )
3. “First of all I’d like to thank Jesus Christ, my lord and savior , without whom none of this would be possible. ” Enough. ( )
4. QB’s and Running Backs—” I want to thank my linemen ( or receivers , or who else) for doing what they are supposed to do.” ( )
5. Try not to cry. ( )
FOR COACHES
This is a special Player ( )
2. ” “I didn’t score a point, make a goal ” etc. ( )
3. “Nobody thought this would happen!” ( )
4. ” We underwent adversity and overcame all obstacles” ( )
They named the Cardinal the North Carolina state bird recently.
My Mom’s sister. Olive Phillips , was our family’s ecologist and a bird lover. So when she saw me gun down a Blue Jay with my Daisy air rifle, she lit me up. Aunt Ollie was also the closest thing I had to a rich relative. So. puzzled about her concern about a bird, I still remembered Christmas and my birthday. She subscribed to AUDOBON magazine and saved her copies for me.
My college friend , Watson Hale . told about a question from a co-worker. “Watson , what does it mean when you enter a town and a sign says ” Bird Sah koo cherry”? ( Sanctuary).
Watching our birds flutter around their feeders, I wonder if there really is a Sanctuary in the sky for the souls of beat up old North Carolina coaches?
I’d like to request a Cardinal to take me to the airport.
My Wife is from Canada. She is in week one of a trip to see her Sister in Vancouver. Nearly 84 I don’t travel well , perferring this zip code. I am “home alone “. Some one asked if my wife would remarry if I died? Russell Rawlings said “…she will have a date at his funeral !”
My whole tribe is worried about my survival. Family and friends. And they are all checking on me. The Game Warden came by yesterday. My Son also hired a local young man who came by with a CHECKLIST. On his IPhone. We have a land line and I have a flip phone. Never turn it on. Certainly don’t carry it.
My young Guardian checked off ” Was he there? Breathing ? Food on him?” Short list ! Aren’t you going to check my blood pressure ? Come back later and tuck me in? Paint the house? He left.
Most wives have a list. My Wife’s list is biblical length. Or equal to a football PLAYBOOK.
One of my duties at Elon was to proof read their football playbook. One of their lists was titled SHARED DUTIES OF THE STAFF. Essentially mundane tasks ( supervising study hall, locker room clean ? etc. ) Two duty assigments caught my eye— GIT BACK COACH and MESS UP LIST.
Coach Clay Hassard explained that no matter what, in the excitement of a game, the players would crowd further and further toward the field. A penalty was possible. One coach on game days was to yell GET BACK all day long.
The “MESS UP LIST ” was penalty for team violations (cutting class, late for practice, missing study hall). The Mess Up Coach met those listees for a predawn run at the track, Both the coaches and the players changed the title of this list so it started with an F.
Violation # 1. I left without my phone . Basically I only go to the bank, CVS, and the barbershop . MY list.
Came home to find K9 dogs and the Coast Guard searching the house, grounds, and ocean.
I’ve decided to keep my own mess up list below:
missed watering the plants and to bring in the dry beach towels ( laying in the bed at midnight I realized this ommission and watered in the moonlight. )
forgot to pour water in coffee pot. ( again I realized my error —when the pot began to smoke. worked fine).
this one is tough. I had a Drs appointment with The Foot Doctor at 11:30. I left in plenty of time to get to the Cedar Point NC office. The office was gone, Is it in the next strip mall? No, the next? No! I asked three people and got 3 blank looks. Aha–the flip phone after all ! NOPE DEAD! I then saw the UPS driver . “Man that place is in Swansboro”—-oops. Thoroughly embarrassed I apologized to the receptioness. She looked at me strongly –“Name, Date of birth– pause? Sir – your wife changed that appointment.
A strange relief oozed over me, and I realized I was to pick up a shoe the Dr. was to alter, and asked if I shouldn’t go ahead and take the shoe with me ? Now it was her turn to be chagrined : ” Sir –I hate to tell you but I forgot to deliver that shoe to Morehead City where he does that work!”
Both of us to the MESS UP list. Some how evened things out.
The Little Green Book of Tennis 