******** Allow me one last personal experience.  I was given an award at athletic banquet at Barton College.  While I certainly appreciated this recognition, the moment that touched me was at the end.  After the banquet several people came by our tablet to speak.  I try to always be courteous to everyone.  After a few minutes I noticed a Black woman waiting patiently to the side.  I did not recognize her immediately.  After the others went their way we addressed each other.  I listened to her opening comment : “ Coach Parham , you probably don’t remember me.” 

 I quickly headed her off.  “ I can’t call your name but I can tell you that  you made an “A” in the tennis class you took from me.”

She looked puzzled—then spoke.  “Well yes you did  and I didn’t deserve it.  But  I am glad I can thank you and  tell you about that time.”  Other than athletes there were few “average” Black women attending the college.  She was struggling  with being in this strange environment, which became more difficult in a class of white kids, many of whom had some tennis background.  “My feelings of isolation had increased and I truly had about decided to quit college. The same day you called me aside after class.   You gave me some extra minutes of personal instruction on my tennis serve—about which I hadn’t a clue.  You told me to practice some at the lesser used and more private courts near the gym.   And you gave a bucket of tennis balls and a racket.  You also seemed to sense my unhappiness and gave me some encouragement as well as some kind words.   I came here tonite to tell you that I went back from that class and decided not to quit.”

She went on to tell me she had graduated and gone on to a full career and although tears were in our eyes , what was going through my head was how grateful I was that i’d had enough sense, early in my career to be kind  to this young woman.

Momentarily I told her not to feel she didn’t deserve an “A”in this strange class.  “Do you know why you deserved that grade?”

My syllabus stated the high priority I placed on attendance and effort  I arrived at work at 8am  each morning.   After our conversation I watched you at the courts near the gym, early in the morning, practicing your serve .

Your serve got pretty good.”