Like other retirees I remember that before long I began to feel “the pressure” ease off. Little by little sighs of relief drifted in.

Similarly the anger that has swallowed many of us is easing off. Married to a nurse. I shuddered at what was being thrust upon all the health care people. My wife worked for twenty years as a nurse, then taught Health Occupations for twenty years in two public schools. But her real love came as a hospice nurse, first as a volunteer, then called on to work full time. Later a bone marrow courier . Still hospice owned her heart.

I became a new person with my children’s growth. “Are you Dan’s father? Tee’s? Once at an Elon basketball game a man I had seen a hundred times approached me and asked “Are you Margaret Parham’s husband?” He then told me how she had cared for his dying mother. “No one in our family could or do what she did.”

One of our women’s basketball coaches, the late Anne Lashley, was with me and when he left I mentioned to Anne: You know coach, that’s happened a lot since Margaret began working with hospice— people speaking to me for the first time because of Margaret! Coach Lashley busted me: ” Sorry, Coach, but it has been that way all along.”


Occasionally the same scene with Margaret present went this way. “Mrs. Parham, thank you from our family. How do you do this remarkably tough job? She never says anything but “…it is a gift I have.”

I am good at holding grudges. “W”,Cheney and Rumsfeld, et. al. got us in that Irag war which led to bloodshed and loss of treasure that galls me. Still it stings. For 10 months what has been asked of Americans, particularly nurses and teachers and those who have lost love ones, has infuriated me– knowing large portions of death, suffering and despair could have been avoided.

Trump’s fund raiser (denying he lost) doesn’t anger or puzzle me. If those saps want to pay off his lawyers, carry on. After a lifetime in the sports world, blaming every loss on the referees is nothing new. Neither is “Im gonna my ball and go home.”

Hopefully the nightmare of the last four years will ease off. Forgiveness and anger?

P.S. Trump had a golden opportunity to be the man on horseback. He blew it. By 360 degrees.


They say prayer has the power to heal
So pray from me mother
In the human heart an evil spirit can dwell
I am a-tryin’ to love my neighbor and do good unto others
But oh, mother, things ain’t going well.


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