LOCAL RULES

•Tom Brokaw concluded: “For parents, bribery is a white collar crime. For grandparents, it’s a business plan.” Loved Brokaw.
•This from DRIVING WITH THE DEVIL, a great book on the real beginnings of NASCAR (know
who Roy Page was?) has this comment: “Money won’t buy everything, but it’ll keep your family closer.”
•And children getting named down here? One kid in the local paper had a first name of “Wedjunald”. “Mam, what do you want his first name to be? (Wedjunald? Reginald?). Some classic names out there.
• At a recent post-golfing social event, I overheard one wife chastise another. “Alice, you’ve got the wrong name tag on.” Alice: “… I’m much too drunk to wear my own name tag.”
And then, there are always the Duke Cameron crazies. In unison this bunch pleaded with Miami’s super large Reggie Johnson, “PLEASE DON’T EAT US, PLEASE DON’T EAT US.” He IS a big tater.
• Tough choice coming up! A local fisherman from Stella, North Carolina has concluded that the White Oak River is being contaminated by run off from the many hog farms in eastern N.C. HMMM. Seafood or barbecue?
•Remember the “HOI TIDERS” (HIGH TIDERS) from way
DOWN EAST? My friend, Randy Campbell, told me this one.
A hoi toiler from “…down to Atlantic” was asked by another local if the guy would mind him leaving his boat in his yard for a week. ‘My Lord, no. A week will be okay.” After the original guy burned this boat down, the issue went to court. Whereupon the judge asked why did you burn the man’s boat? “Well, your Honor, he didn’t show up after a week so I called him. He said he’d be by soon, but he didn’t show the second week. I thought about calling him a second “toime” (time), but then I thought what the hell. “I LIT HER UP”
• I have included a couple of pictures of the pier. I continue to be a PIER GROUPIE (blog article #75 with the pictures). The operative question on the pier is “anything biting?” A hoi toiler responded recently, “Not on this pier, mate, but “oi” (I) heard the red drum was eating the sand off the end of the oiland (island).”
57
JAMES ALLEN ROSE
•A local high school running back was extremely quick and agile. A zig-zagging touchdown kickoff return brought this comment from an admiring hoi toiler coach: “My lord Son, you run ‘er like a hard crab”.

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